Not a rare or unique one, no question mark at the end of the title, makes me wonder what the title wants to portray, is it about what Taehyung wants?
Cover: 2.5/10
It'a a taekook fanfiction and the story is more about Taehyung than Jungkook until now so adding Taehyung in the cover is essential. The bg pic of Jungkook is overused and seen on many random books, it'd be better if you use a different and rare one. The word 'want' should have a larger size since it doesn't catch as much attention as 'what you' does.
Description: 1 /5
I always suggest people to add dialogues by the main protagonists and if possible antagonists as well, that works as good as the dialogues in a movie trailer, description is a written trailer of your book so you should try to give hints of everything that's going to be in your book, using a not so cliché pick up line or adding an interesting dialogue always attracts readers to click the read option.
Reader’s Interaction: 2 /5
The book can have more humour and sarcasm so as to flare up readers interest.
Plot: 3 /10
I didn't find anything exclusive here, the eyes having a purple hue and the soulmate bond goes for many books, the transformation part was a little new for any of the taekook books I read but it's common in other LGBTQ+ books. Also, the book got 11 chapters yet there's nothing that unexpected or 'new' seen. The book goes a little dry at times, especially during filler chapters and all you can do to avoid loosing reader's interest is adding humour to the dialogues or the descriptions.
Grammar: 13 /20
Ch 3 para 4 8th line after don't 'know' is missing.
"we'll see you Sunday" **on
Ch 4
Hobi shrugged it off so Taehyung did also: 'so Taehyung also did' or 'so did Taehyung' would sound better.
Ch 5
the others see his actions and decide to leave for home also : 'and also decides to leave for home' or 'decide to leave for home as well' could be written.
But the quiet doesn't stay for long : Silence not quiet
Pillowy pinks lips : singular for pink, 'pillowy pink lips'
Ch 6
Line 2: out the door : out of the door
Gaps instead of gasp
'being his head' : must be 'bending his head'
'their absences' : can be 'their absence'
Ch 11
...boxy smile upon his sweet's lips : you must be using 'sweet's' as an endearment but it seems more like a grammatical error so writing 'sweetheart' or anything as such would be better.
'Eyes filled tears and desperation' : add a 'with' before tears
Spelling error: vemon instead of venom
'And aesthetically pleasing vibe' : an not and
Plot twists and attraction: 2 /10
Compared to your other stories, this one had everything revealed beforehand. You have added a good explanation beforehand so It's not necessary to say almost everything before the story even starts, please work on it. Also, when you give some suspense in description, make sure that the questions you're using for suspense actually got a story behind it, for example in your description there's a question: 'what about the name on his soulmate's wrist?' I actually thought there would be a back story about it but when Jungkook joins Hobi for lunch and Taehyung introduces himself he goes like 'there are many Kim Taehyungs in Korea' which ruins the suspense about what Jungkook has written on his wrist.
Emotions and character development: 5/10
The emotions are well portrayed and I'll be looking forward for more character development in the main leads, yet, I believe Jungkook's character developed way too quickly.
Creativity and way of writing: 4/10
Your vocabulary is amazing, I totally didn't search up few words. Also, you can minimize the use of 'ethereal beauty', 'onyx eyes' and few more such adjectives, with different one's, maybe just use their name at times to keep reminding the readers who you're describing?
Your opinion on the book: 4/10
Oh by the way, it was so thoughtful of you to support the LGBTQ+ community with your works, being a bi myself, I appreciate your works and intentions.
Back to the book, it went a little dry and I believe you can make it up with your writing skills. Also, are you planning to end the book with a chapter or two? The book is a good read if it's ending now but if you're planning to write more than 10 chapters in the future and have some plot twists in your mind then you're taking too long to reveal them, I'd suggest you to at least give few hints about the 'big thing' that you have planned out in your mind. That was all, thank you for choosing me. I hope this review helped you a little if not much. You nice, keep going!
Total Marks: 39.5 /100
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