The title is apt to the story. It gives an insight into what the story is about but not exactly directly.
Cover: 00/05
This story is mostly set up in the Joseon era. But, the cover shows Taehyung in the winter photoshoot. That's not really apt to the story. It has no relevance to the story. You can use a photo which shows Taehyung in his hanbok and probably add some brown vignette. After that, you can apply some filters and make it look more vintage.
Blurb: 00/10
The blurb is really bland. Doesn't have anything other than what would really happen in the story. Every blurb needs an element of mystery that would spark up interest in us. But your blurb was not at all like that.
Execution: 06/10
The execution of your plot was done poorly. The plot seemed really fast paced and considerable plot holes in it. Descriptions are missing at some points and sometimes, dialogues are really overdone.
Plot: 10/20
The plot was conflicted. First of all, how would yn know Taehyung almost immediately? The fragment of memory should be mentioned. That's a minor plothole. Second, no one would randomly get adapted to a kingdom they had just entered. It was like she immediately trusted everyone which was really gullible of the character to do. Other than that, the plot seemed to be an overused one. Since the execution was not really good, I didn't find it one percent appealing.
Writing style: 15/20
The writing style needs to be improved. The paragraphs are not properly styled and the dialogue tags are not used well. For example, if the subject ends, then you should use a full stop. If the subject continues, you should use a comma until the subject is finished. You can add number of imageries so the content becomes more interesting.
Grammar and vocabulary: 09/20
The vocabulary of the story is really average. In case you want to depict the emotions of ecstasy, you should use words like delighted or elated. In case of angst, you can use words like remorse. These are major mistakes you've made. Moreover, the structure of your dialogues need to improve. Try to describe the emotions of your characters and add some more descriptions.
Character development: 03/10
The character development had really sky rocketed once yn met Taehyung. It should have been gradual. When you're developing the characters, make sure to first look into their emotions so the reader can connect better with the story while reading it.
Overall: 47/100
I've mentioned the pros and cons of your book, but I would suggest to get your story proofread and probably read your book from the point of a reviewer in order to understand my points even more better.
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