The cover has the face claim of a female which would probably be misunderstood as a normal fiction book rather than a fanfic. Since it's a Jimin Fanfic, I wood suggest you have Jimin in your cover.
Title: 02/05
The title, though is unique, it focuses on the girl rather than the chemistry between the two leads. It's just rather her name in the ring. So, it's not really suitable when the title is inclined only towards that.
Synopsis: 05/10
The sypnosis was really confusing. First of all, you had just given some lines, preferably dialogues and ended with a mysterious note. Doesn't really define what the story is about. Try to make your blurb even more bigger with two-three paragraphs as an insight into what the story really is.
Execution: 06/10
The execution of the plot was a bit poor. Paragraphs were placed in the center which was a bit conflicting and the dialogues were not written well. Dialogues, preferably, if separated look more neat. Rather than your execution, please make sure that the dialogues don't sit between large paragraphs.
Plot: 15/20
The plot is creative to begin with. I'm absolutely in love with your writing style. The idea of having a female lead who's strong and fierce is an enthralling concept to begin with. Good job on that. Though at some places, there were questions which were unanswered. Those were the plot holes I noticed at some places. Other than that, I felt like the pace of your story is a bit slow with the happenings being elaborated while at some places, they are a bit fast. Make sure that the pace of the plot is balanced.
Writing Style: 19/20
Like I said, I absolutely adore your writing style. It didn't seem like reading a fanfic. Rather, I could imagine every scene and be the character myself. But in my opinion, you can do better by adding imageries so that we're able to compare and contrast the life of the female protagonist.
Grammar & Vocabulary: 15/20
I did find some grammatical errors here and there. The usage of ellipsis was misused. Make sure that it dedicates only omission or trailing off. You've used that in redundant places. Your vocabulary is pretty stable but you can always improve. Try to use more words from the dictionary. Have a wider vocabulary range. Also, make sure to avoid comma splices.
Characters & Development: 06/10
The character development was not really vivid, but the explanations and the emotions of the characters were portrayed pretty well. When you develop a character, make sure that it's a slight change and rather not a huge one since it might affect the character as a whole.
Total: 68/100
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