Book Name: 13th October
Author: taetae_army_luv
Reviewer: Lals Chaotic_Lals
Cover: 01/05
To be honest, the only thing I like about the cover is the face claim you used. For the rest of the part, everything from the amount of elements, to its concept, to the fonts, to the effects you used are mundane. First off, the author’s handle looks out of place given its color and font. Also, I think a nickname would go better than your username (especially since you use underscores). Then, the font of the title. It doesn’t suit the cover. Plus, you missed out on the ‘th’ of ‘13th’; I don’t know if you did that for aesthetic purposes or just missed it, but either way, it’s incorrect.
The top of the cover looks way to empty. Going for a simple cover is completely fine, but as of now, the cover is mundane. Not simple. You could’ve added more elements.
Also, the cover doesn’t suit the book. The book opts for a more dramatic theme. And this cover? A big no-no.
Title: 03/05
The title was good, to be honest. I expected the book to be good with a dramatic plot . . . but it didn’t really meet them. Thing is, you could’ve opted for something that’d suit the book better, you know? Something that’d portray its plot in a much better way.
Synopsis: 02/10
The synopsis, to be frank, is not at all insightful. I mean, both the synopsis and the title tells you that the book is about what happened on the 13th of October. But what is the book’s concept? What is the book’s genre? How are the characters portrayed? The synopsis in my opinion, doesn’t give any sort of insight into the book. It doesn’t really make me want to read the book either. It’s good to have dialogues in the synopsis— but make sure that it also has some good body to it. The current synopsis isn’t entrancing. There were plenty of punctuational errors too.
Execution: 02/10
Poor. Don’t mistake me for being rude. I’m just being utterly honest here. Everything from the cover, to the synopsis, to the writing style, to your grammar, is poor. The only thing I actually liked about your book is its plot. I’ve explained more on this in the coming categories.
You should avoid using extra spaces in the book. Like, if you want to create suspense, use an ellipsis. Why so much empty space. It ruins the flow.
To be frank, I wanted to stop reading right after the second chapter.
Plot: 11/20
While the plot wasn’t something I’d wow at, it still was good. I’ve read books with similar plots before. I think the book would actually good if you just erect your writing style and grammar (along with its synopsis and cover, of course). Some scenes were a bit unrealistic, though, and there some parts that was a tad bit too predictable or just unnecessary filler, you know what I mean?
Now the main fault is that your plot’s beauty is not coming through the book due to its poor execution. Some parts were lagged up, some were rushed. You don’t describe enough, which could be one of the main reasons why the plot came off as a bit rushed.
Writing Style: 05/20
You should really pay a lot of heed in this category. First off, when I read your book, I felt like I it was written by a second grader. It was just all over the place. Most of your paragraphs aren’t of the right length and you just fail to provide enough descriptions. Sentence constructions need a hell load of improvisation too.
You’re usually not to use numerical values in a dialogue. Rather than ‘3-4’ you are to use ‘three to four’.
Thing is, you aren’t able to convey your ideas properly. Like I mentioned under ‘plot’, your concepts and ideas are good. You just have to find the right way to execute it all. I suggest you try an experiment with different styles? No rushes.
There’s nothing wrong with opting for first person perspective— but when you choose to write in it, make sure you do the narrating well. I don’t think you did a good job. There were plenty of places in the book where the descriptions (if there were any in the first place) were just off. All of them were one-liners. You know what I mean?
Also, when you write in first person perspective and need to change views, make sure you write at least two or three chapters in the same perspective before changing it. If you keep changing it here and there, the book just loses its flow.
As of now, I think that your writing style is very not-to-the-point and lagged up. You either provide too less of details, or you give too much. You don’t have that ‘balance’ you’re supposed to have.
Grammar & Vocabulary: 04/20
When a line in direct speech is continued in the form of narration, make sure to use a coma before you ending double quotes. Taking this sentence as an example: “Mr. Kim, the doctor is waiting for you.” The receptionist said in an annoyed tone.
Here, there should’ve been a comma rather than a period after the word ‘you’.
Then, using a question mark along with an exclamation point. The right format is ‘?!’, not ‘!?’. The question mark comes first since it’s a question. The exclamation mark comes second since it’s indicating the question’s tone.
The original value of an ellipsis is three, and only three. Using more or lesser than the said amount is grammatically incorrect. After using an ellipsis, you usually do not capitalize the proceeding word unless it’s a new sentence. In most of the sentences you used an ellipsis, you capitalized the word after the ellipsis; many a times, it wasn’t a new sentence. Also, I noticed that you use commas to denote a sentence’s end. You use a period, not a comma.
There’re rules for using bold tags and italics, too. You might want to pay attention to that. You can just use italics to put emphasis on a word- bold tags are to take that emphasis to its next degree, which I think is unnecessary considering the points where you’ve used them.
You are not to use tildes in a book. A tilde is a mathematical value and does not hold a meaning in the literature world just yet. So yes, using them in a book (both in dialogues, and narrations or descriptions) is wrong.
Avoid using caps unnecessarily. For instance, in the second chapter’s first line, what was the need for ‘hey there’ to be capitalized? I also noticed that unnecessarily capitalize random words. Edit it out with your time.
You should also not use extra punctuation marks like exclamation points or question marks, and unnecessary extra letters. Just one does the job well. Plus, you should stop breaking sentences up unnecessarily. For instance, in the second chapter, you say ‘Ohh, I also have savings! That I am now planning to use.’ This could just have been a single sentence. And why the extra ‘h’?
‘Oh, I also have saving that I’m now planning to use!’ Doesn’t that sound better?
You need to understand the difference between the usage of a hyphen (-) and an em-dash (—). A hyphen is used to connect two words while an em-dash is used to set off extra information within a sentence, to signal an abrupt shift, and to emphasize a thought or sentence (like cutting off dialogues). For instance, in the sentence, “I-I mean argh!” (from the second chapter), there should’ve been an em dash used rather than the hyphen. Also, there should’ve been a comma after ‘mean’.
Moving onto your vocabulary; it’s poor. You need to enhance your knowledge in words a lot more. The same goes for sentence constructions, that is, the way you arrange your words and put them together. Like I already mentioned in the previous category, it’s just all over the place.
Characters & Development: 02/10
To be honest, I don’t know how I’m supposed to mark this category. I didn’t get the personality of a single character. Again, it was all over the place. It seemed as if all of them had the same personality. The same goes for the development. Sometimes, they seemed alright, and other times they reverted back. Like I said before, it all rounds back to the way you describe.
Total: 30/100
Final Note: Please do not get discouraged or demotivated. I’m trying to help you here and no, I’m not one to beat around the bush or sugarcoat my words. You can always improve yourself and your skills with practice and patience, hm? Don’t hesitate to hit me up if you have any queries ;)