Book: Dark paradise
Author: idyllickook
Reviewer: Blaze
• TOTAL MARKS- ①⓪⓪
68/100
|- ⑤ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.
4/5
I noticed that you got pretty good comments but you replied to only a few of them. Other than that, I think the reader interaction is pretty good.
|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴄᴏᴠᴇʀ.
5/10
I gave less marks for the cover since the main theme is dark, why did you got for a light cover? Moreover, it doesn't suit the exact vibe. Honestly, I liked the previous cover much more better than the one which is put up now.
|- ⑤ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴅᴇsᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴏɴ.
4/5
The book's description is almost perfect, with the good insight into the story and contents. But i found some grammatical errors in the blurb of the book. For instance, "When you, find yourself..." Over here, the comma between you and find yourself is completely redundant since you're not starting a new subject over here. The vocabulary is pretty good for an amateur writer but you need to look into your punctuations.
|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴛɪᴛʟᴇ.
8/10
The title seems too direct, nevertheless an apt one to the storyline. Since the plot revolves around it, I think its good but you can always play around the words. For instance, the word dark could be replaced with its synonym in order to look more appealing.
|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴘʟᴏᴛ.
7/10
The plot is creative, nevertheless it's a good one. But being that your chapters are really short, I feel like most of your characters are conflicted. First of all, why's heaven filled with people who are overwhelmed with desires? It's really contradictory. Moreover since it's a fantasy type of story, I think the descriptions should be made more vivid so that the reader is able to visualize the surroundings. I'm not talking bout the description from her point of view, but in general.
|- ②⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴀᴍᴍᴀʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴠᴏᴄᴀʙᴜʟᴀʀʏ.
10/20
Your vocabulary is outstanding, I could not deduct marks for that. But coming to your grammar, you lag a lot in that area. You've made tons of grammatical errors and has continually switched between the present tense and the past tense.
For example, "she was intruiged by this man and felt as if she has seen him somewhere." If you notice here, there's a change in the tense. It should be reframed to, "She was intruiged by this man and felt as if she had seen him somewhere. " I would suggest you to proofread the entire chapter before publishing it.
Next come the punctuations.
"What do you mean by human? Aren't you own by yourself?" She asked slightly...."
Here, after asked, there should be a comma in order to indicate that there's a change in the subject.
|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs Fᴏʀ ᴘʟᴏᴛ ᴛᴡɪsᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴛᴛʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.
7/10
I didn't notice much plot twists but the book attracted me a lot. There were too many intruiging questions and I was inclined on finding the answers to them. In all, I was invested in reading your book but sometimes, you make the scenes really familiar. Like it's the typical ones... You can work around with your creativity and make it more interesting considering you have such a good vocabulary and you okay around with words well.
|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴs ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴇᴠᴇʟᴏᴘᴍᴇɴᴛ.
9/10
The emotions were well exhibited with me feeling the protagonist from every point of view. I deducted one mark for character development since it needs to be more vivid and needs to be overlayed with more emphasis. I think you're getting what I'm trying to tell.
|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠɪᴛʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀʏ ᴏғ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ.
7/10
Your way of writing is absolutely spectacular and your creativity is immaculate. But, you still have room for improvement. I feel like you can play around with the words in order to make it more captivating and since you're good with metaphors and personification, why don't you inculcate them in your dialogues? It would be really good if you do so.
|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴏᴋ.
7/10
This is truly a good read and I would definitely recommend it to fantasy lovers.
🆈🅾🆄🆁 🆁🅴🆆🅸🅴🆆 : I would suggest you to proofread the chapters before publishing them since, even though you have a good hold on your book, grammar is the main foundation which you lack in. Please keep my points in mind and good luck for the future.
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