Book: Our Time
Author: Yoon_Gyu
Reviewer: Blaze
• TOTAL MARKS- ①⓪⓪
26/100
|- ⑤ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.
0/5
I couldn't see any comments nor any readers interaction.
|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴄᴏᴠᴇʀ.
6/10
The cover seemed pretty good but could be modified to an even better one in order to match with the plot. Could also add a silhouette of an angel perhaps.
|- ⑤ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴅᴇsᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴏɴ.
2/5
The book description didn't seem much eye catching. You could have added some more dialogues and such so that the reader is allured into it. Since the blurb defines your story, I would suggest you to edit it and make it into an even better one.
|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴛɪᴛʟᴇ.
3/10
The book title seems to be really vague and contradictory to the plot. The protagonist and Taehyung didn't spend much time together, so how can you specify it to be 'our time.' Moroever, it was just a short phase in her life; a prominent yet a short one. So you can rename it to something like, "Ephemeral" or "Broken binds" or something related to that.
|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴘʟᴏᴛ.
2/10
The plot's pace seemed to be really fast. First of all, no strangers would randomly start a conversation with another completely random stranger who's stranded on the road or walking.
Secondly, the scenario where Taehyung was her best friend's boyfriend seemed to be really plain and overused. It's am overused plot and I would not suggest you to use it. Moreover, the girl seems to have conflicting emotions. The emotions are not conveyed properly nor are both the sides of the stories confirmed. I can make out it's a short story of heartbreak with not much relevance.
Then, I also noticed that you make your chapters really short. Since the plot's pace is fast, you could have made them a bit longer and more descriptive. And even an angel, will not magically have money from heaven. So, how's she managing? None of this is mentioned.
Another thing I noticed is that, you didn't tell bout the whereabouts of the angel. Did she magically appear? Or who had sent her? Why had they sent her? These are the most prominent plot holes that seemed to lessen my interest.
|- ②⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴀᴍᴍᴀʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴠᴏᴄᴀʙᴜʟᴀʀʏ.
5/20
There were almost no punctuations. I figured out that you had written in free verse, but then, I noticed punctuations at some point and some were not there. So, did you really portray enjambment? If so, what were you trying to signify? You'll have to learn to add punctuations and make sure that they make sense and that the sentences are coherent.
Coming to the grammar, I see you've tried to maintain the same tense throughout but seriously, you've made tons of errors. I can understand that your first language is not English, but please get them edited.
Coming to the vocabulary, it was not pretty good. You used the normal slang which was not appreciable nor negotiable since it showed some unprofessionalism too. You could also use synonyms. For example, his eyes seeked for an unknown quest, yet the paper was not drawn from his heart. In case you're going for a poetic vibe, you could use metaphors, simile, personification and such.
|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs Fᴏʀ ᴘʟᴏᴛ ᴛᴡɪsᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴛᴛʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.
2/10
There's no plot twists at all. Taehyung being her best friend's boyfriend, nu-uh, it was not at all a plot twist. I didn't get attracted much too since your chapters were really short and didn't portray any sort of emotions and such which are usually the main aspects that captivate a reader to read the story more.
|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴs ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴇᴠᴇʟᴏᴘᴍᴇɴᴛ.
1/10
The whole story was devoid of emotions. Usually, the character has a great attachment with the readers, but here it was not at all present. I couldn't feel the heartbreak nor the happiness when she had first met Taehyung. As of character development, they just remained the same. Taehyung was just developing a sense of friendship with them and other than that, I didn't witness anything prominent.
|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠɪᴛʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀʏ ᴏғ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ.
2/10
Your style of writing needs to be improved. Your chapters need to be a bit more longer and discreet instead of making it really vague and such. I couldn't find much creativity in your story. It was just like any other cliché Fanfic I've read but here, just that the protagonist is an angel.
|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴏᴋ.
3/10
I can see that you have potential to reach even greater heights with your book. Just look into the details I mentioned and I'm pretty sure you'll ace it.
🆈🅾🆄🆁 🆁🅴🆆🅸🅴🆆 : I've run out of words- but please try to take my opinions into your books- that's it ;-;