Book name: Criminal Stalker (Jungkook Oneshots)
Author: I_Am_Ur_Daddy
Reviewer: ALAND
Title: 7/10
The title is okay. It’s not catchy and is sort of a common name. Also, the word ‘Stalker’ itself is somewhat related to crime/criminals. So I don’t see why you chose to write ‘Criminal’ along with the word ‘Stalker’. Well, Jungkook is a criminal who stalks so if we take this into consideration then title is passable. But what I want to say is, It isn’t necessary that if the book is based on ‘stalkers’ then the title must include the word ‘stalker’.
Cover: 10/10
I am satisfied with the cover illustrations. The font is clear and sits well with the background and Jungkook's pic fits the story. The cover itself sparks one's interest. I think you did a great job in picking the book cover.
Description: 3/5
A way of drawing attention towards a book is giving a good description. Readers are quick to judge a book based on the description provided. If there are errors in the description then people safely assume that the book would have many errors too. So, I want you to go through the book's description again and correct the errors there. Like… this is what you have written: ‘Terrified face is clearly shown on her face when she saw he was sitting on her couch with smug grin on his face.’
But it should have been (or something similar to this): ‘Terror could be clearly seen on her face when she saw him sitting on her couch, with a smug grin playing on his lips.’
Reader's interaction: 5/5
The reader’s interactions are interesting. Readers are definitely enjoying commenting on the characters and situations. It’s a good sign. I, myself, had fun reading all the comments.
Plot: 6/10
The plot is good but is a little bit cliched. There are a few typical situations and circumstances which I think you could have modified and made more appealing. I felt the plot rushing at some instances but other than that, It’s good.
Grammar and Vocabulary: 13/20
While going through the chapters, I came across quite many grammar errors. I think it is because English mustn’t be your first language or you could be a really young writer. I personally think you should work on your grammar, especially tenses. And as for the vocabulary part...I am not impressed. The vocabulary used is not only bland but it also includes loads of slang. You should put special focus on your grammar and vocabulary.
Plot twists and attraction: 5/10
As the story is about a stalker, I expected more twists and turns in the story. Although the current twists are good but they somewhat failed to spark excitement. It lacked thrills. I could guess some things too. I know it is hard to come with interesting and unexpected twists but what I feel is you should try reading more professional novels to improve in this aspect.
Emotions and character development: 4/10
You have given a detailed description in the beginning of the books. I liked how you gave a bit of their back story too. But I think I would have liked it better if the description was given step by step with the flow of the story. This could have helped the readers to understand the characters and their emotions. The character development is slow too. And, Jungkook’s character is still a little confusing even in the end.
Creativity and way of writing: 4/10
Being completely honest, I didn’t like your way of writing. It’s childish but you can definitely get over if you try. Your current way of writing is similar to that of the fanfictions available on youtube. Also, I would like to point a few things out.
First, the conversations. You have written them in the format of ‘dialogue writing’ like:
Y/n : Ok bye Rose. See u tomorrow.
Rose: Ok bye y/n. See u too.
This doesn’t leave a good impression. Also refrain from using short forms in conversations/dialogues,do not use ‘u’ as a replacement for the word ‘you’. This is not your messenger. It leaves the impression that the author doesn’t take his/her books seriously. Some may find it irking. Also after every line there is a picture uploaded. So, please try reducing the pictures and try giving the description in words. Also your time skips, they are way too frequent and try not to give time in whole numbers. Like , instead of writing ‘25 minutes later’ you could write ‘a few moments later’ or ‘after a while’.
Your opinion on the book: 5/10
The book is good but the author has a long way to go. I liked the idea of the book too. Even though the book has its flaws, it doesn't bore you.
Any tips for the author: You should try referring to other books/novels. It’ll help you grow as a writer because a good writer is a n avid reader first. A little more effort and you will do great! (please forgive me if I offended you in any way.)
TOTAL: 63/100