SNL 2020

The Door pt3

Me: (sighing as I sit on the edge of the bathtub) How long will this be again?

Qing: (sounding frustrated) I don't know. Who installed this door again?

Me: I don't know, the construction guys who worked to build this condo. Duh?

Qing: (kicking the door) I hate this door. Why won't it budge?

Me: Just get the crowbar already! Or a hammer.

Qing: I already did! But this door is as stubborn as you!

Me: (rolling my eyes) Oh, then there's a chance that you'll succeed on destroying it eventually. I mean, if its as stubborn as you...then I might as well just resigned myself to living forever here in the bathroom.

Qing: (growling) You are not helping, really.

Me: You told me to stand back.

Qing: Just shut up, Dayu!

I shut my mouth and pouted it. Fine, I was against Qing destroying our door at first but he managed to convince me that its the only solution available for us and even though it sucks, at least we have the knowledge that we have the intention to replace it when we have the bathroom renovated next year.

But it has been half an hour already and Qing still hasn't succeeded in annihilating the door that stood between him and me. That got me trapped here, waiting for my knight to rescue me.

Me: (snorting) Some knight you are, Wang Qing.

Qing: What?! Did you say something?

Me: Yes! I said, I am aging here!

Qing: (growling) You are one impatient asshole, Feng Jian Yu.

Me: And you are such a slow rescue knight, Wang Qing.

Qing: I am doing all I can here, okay?

Me: Oh, I know. I'm sorry.

I stood by my seat and went close to the door again.

Me: Do you need motivations? I mean, what do you need? Tell me.

Qing: Give me a reason to want to get you out of there. Because right now, this is taking all my efforts and I am not sure the compensation is worth it.

Me: (offended) You will get a blowjob if I get out of here!

Qing: Yeah...that is not doing it for me anymore.

Me: Wang Qing!

Qing: I mean, if I let you stay there...I will have some peace to talk on my phone and...

Me: And once I get out of here, your phone and you are both dead, just know that. You want some good compensation to get me out of here? How about your life, Wang Qing?! If you value your life, you will do all you can to get me out of here.

Qing: I am calling Zhu gege...

Me: NO!!!

I slammed my body against the door and stick myself on it again.

Me: Call your cousin and I will take the exhaustion apart and jump to my eternal death from there.

(Eternal death?)

I have to make the seriousness of my point across in any way.

(Right)

Qing: Why don't you want me to call my cousin? What do you have against Zhu gege?

Me: I have nothing against him. I just...your cousin could already write a whole ass book just with the compilation of all our stupid antics. Don't you feel ashamed that everytime something embarrassing happened to either of us, like me being trapped in the bathroom because you chased me here, your cousin knows it and he was there to help us sort it out. God...Qing...