SNL 2020

Jerk

I know I once wished to be drowned in cheeses. I love cheese. Since Qing and I had that memorable vacation in Italy where I tasted authentic Italian cheeses, I started to get serious about learning the different kinds of cheese and how to pair them with other food and drinks. At this point, if a doctor diagnose me with lactose intolerance and tell me that I couldn't consume dairy products anymore, I'll probably jump to my death.

And also yes, that's an exaggeration. I love cheese but I won't kill myself for it. And I also know I never wished to receive two baskets of cheeses. I...

Me: What will I do with all those cheese?

Qing: (shrugging nonchalantly) Eat them. But eat the ones I bought for you first. Actually, those are the only ones you should care for. The cheeses on the other basket, you can throw them away.

I sighed.

Me: You want me to throw away a cheese and wine basket that's worth almost $500?

Qing: Yes.

Me: No.

Qing: Why not?

Me: (rolling my eyes) I won't dignify that one with an answer.

I turned away from him to go back to the kitchen where my two baskets of cheeses were standing on top of the dining table. They were so identical, I feel a headache developing on the brain.

Qing: (followed me to the kitchen) I think mine looks fancier and prettier.

Me: (rolling my eyes) They are practically the same, Wang Qing. Except you bought chorizo in your basket instead of the salami on the other basket.

Qing: What do you love more: chorizo or salami? And before you answer that, I want you to know that there is a right answer to that question.

Me: (sighing because he is tiring) The chorizo. Happy now?

Qing: (pleased smile) Good. And yes, I am happy now. I knew I gave you the far more superior basket.

He walked out of the kitchen after saying that. He is...something else, really. Your Baba is something else, my dear reader. He is jealous and so petty in his possessiveness.

But in fairness to us, I didn't lie. I truly like chorizo more than salami. I love the chewy, nutty and sometimes greasy taste and flavor of chorizo compared to the smooth texture of the salami.

Now, I know you might be all questioning, whats up with the two wine and cheese baskets, Dayu ah? And why is Baba acting like a possessive Neanderthal again?

Well...its because one of the baskets was given to me by an admirer. Take note: not a fan but just a regular admirer. How did we know the basket came from an admirer? Well, there was a note attached on the basket when it first arrived at our door.

I was totally surprised to receive it. I never thought the person will really send me something.

Qing: Don't call him a person. Call him a jerk.

(Oh...HIM?)

Yes. The person who sent the wine and cheese basket is a guy. And to make matters worse, its a guy whom Qing knows because this person is JiJi's friend.

Qing: (irritated) When did you meet him anyways?

Me: Remember that time you left to be on an investors' meeting or whatever with Zhu gege and I was left behind to shop with your sister? That's when I met GongZhe and...

Qing: What? GongZhe? You are in first name basis with that jerk?

Me: (rolling my eyes) That's how he introduced himself. What else will I call him?