SNL 2020

Resilient

Me: Call me Almighty Dayu.

Qing: Jesus, no.

Me: No. Almighty Dayu. Don't call me Jesus.

Qing: (glaring at me) No. And leave me alone.

Me: (grinning from ear to ear) No.

Qing: (eyebrow rising) You won't leave me alone? Fine. I will put the white clothes with the colored clothes inside the washer and you won't be able to do anything about it because you'll have to go through me and it'll go down to us wrestling here in the laundry room where you will lose and also acquire bruises that others, maybe even some members of my family, will notice and will assume I am roughing you up that'll offend my mother and if that sounds familiar, its because its the nightmare we are living in right now.

(Wow! Baba sure can paint a scenario as well! Good job Baba...)

Yup, he deserves all the applause for that one. I am sure influencing him just fine. See my rambling trait get rubbed on your Baba. He got it from me.

Me: (since I am not about to lose on this one) If you botch this laundry duty you have, and ruin our clothes, I will not talk to you for two weeks. Where will that leave you...?

Qing: Finally, with some peace and quiet?

(LOL Baba...)

Me: Oh sure, oh yes...that's a sassy one, I'll give you a point for that. But no...the correct answer is, that'll leave you with no one to talk to...

Qing: I still have my friends...

Me: ...aside from your friends who gives you, and lets face it, stress as well. Like I said, you will have no one decent to talk to. You and Baba are not talking to each other. You won't talk to Mama. JiJi is also not talking to your parents. You don't want to bother your sister...where did that leave everyone? Me. I am all you all have. I still talk to Baba. I still talk to Mama. JiJi gets her updates from me. I am here for you. So what should you call me?

Qing: A poor unfortunate soul? To be trapped smacked in the middle of our chaotic family...

Okay, he has another point.

Me: (nodding) Well...yes, that's my current address right now. Smacked in the middle of your chaotic family street, Beijing. But no...you should call me, Almighty Dayu. The person still in touch with everyone for several reasons. One, because I am reasonable. And two, because I am nice.

Qing stared at me. He hold my gaze before he deliberately threw in his blue colored shirt with the whites in the washer. Then he smirked at me.

Me: (shocked beyond belief) You! You! You monster! You crazy bastard! How dare you?! You!

He asked for death and I gave it to him!

(Omona! You killed Baba?)

Well, no. I didn't and I couldn't. But I did manage to get pass him to fish out the his blue shirt and save our white clothes. Your Baba is crazy. I smacked a short in his head a couple of times...yes, I domestically abused him but the effect was not worth mentioning because Qing just laughed while I was doing that.

Anyways, I threw him out of our laundry room. He thinks he escaped laundry duty but what he really escaped is certain death. My OCD will kill him if our whites got ruined.

After I secured that batch of laundry, I went out to look for Qing. I saw him making iced coffee in the kitchen. The weather is a bit warm today.

Me: (hip leaning on the kitchen counter) (staring at Qing) The thing is...my birthday is approaching...