SNL 2020

Feeling Good

I am a cat in heat. Or at least that's what Qing told me.

Its steadily getting chilly here in my slice of Earth and putting on too many layer of clothes is just too much work for my lazy ass. So my solution was...

Me: (tackling my fiancé on the couch) Body heat! Lets share body heat, Wang Qing!

I hugged your Baba and wriggled around so I can rub parts of me to parts of him. Qing sighed as he endured me fondling parts of him while almost lying on top of his chest and trying to climb on his lap.

I want to be a cat. Why can't people transform into cats so other people could cuddle us and keep us warm?

Hhmmmm...?

Anyways...

Qing: (shivering) Fuck it, Dayu. Your feet are cold.

Me: (rubbing my feet on his left calf) Yes they are. Warm us up.

Qing: (pushing me away a little) Go get some socks to warm them up.

Me: (pouting) Go get us socks so we can warm up. Please...

Qing's expression turned into questioning why he is with someone like me. He probably was having an internal debate on his mind about why they endure being my slave.

But in the end, Qing stood up from the couch.

Qing: (mumbling) Why do I endure being with someone like you...really?

Me: (grinning happily) Are you regretting your life choices?!

Qing: Yes! Fuck!

I chuckled and waited for him and my socks. When Qing came back to the living room, he has my socks on his hands. He sat next to me and I swung my legs to get it over his lap. I wriggled my feet and smiled at him.

Qing sighed and put the socks on my feet. They almost instantly warmed up.

Me: (shuddering) Oh, toasty.

Qing: Lets think hard about having a child when its clear that you are still a baby in need of constant care. How can we have a baby if we already have you?

Me: Shut up and put up, Wang Qing. Baby me...

I tackled him down on the couch again so I can wedge myself between his body and the backrest of the couch with Qing's upper arm as my pillow. I snuggled tightly on his side and sighed in happiness. I am loving my life at the moment.

And my fiancé knows too well why I feel contented with myself.

Qing: (sounding amused) Are you really that happy that you didn't get a panic attack?

Me: Of course! Its a first this year. I managed to remain calm and not have a panic attack. That's a big improvement.

Qing: Yes, it is. I am proud of you, my Little Squirrel.

Me: (smiling as I softly rub his chest over his comfy shirt) Thank you. I know its been rough on you as well. But I promise, I will continue being better at handling my panic attacks.

I am not stupid. I know as I struggle with having panic attacks, Qing struggles with me. He loves me after all. I know too well that if you love a person, the last thing you want to see is them struggling or having a hard time. I could only imagine the trauma Qing experienced everytime he sees me having a panic attack and having a hard time breathing or calming down.

But he never complained. Never. He never gets angry at me for having these panic attacks. Oh he gets angry for the different reasons that triggers my stress but he never gets mad at me. Qing has been nothing but patient with me. As always, it seems like he has a deep well of neverending patience for me. A massive reservoir of love and understanding he only ever shown to me.