SNL 2020

Gloomy January

Qing: (sitting at the edge of the bed) Love, get up.

Me: (moaning) No.

Qing: (sighing) Love...

Me: (turning away from him and pulling the cover up on my shoulder) Leave me alone.

Qing: And what? So you can mope here and get sad again? It's been two days, Love. Sooner or later...you need to move.

Me: (abruptly sitting up) It's unfair!

Qing: (nodding) It is. But it was an accident and it happened half a world away from us.

Me: (staring at Qing) A legend died with his young daughter and basketball fans are being forced to just...move on. Why?

Qing: Life.

Me: You won't say that if it's King James...

Qing: (flinching like I slapped him) Don't say that. Don't. I'm sad too, Dayu ah. I am devastated too. But life is like that and we have to move on. Being sad for two days is enough. The Black Mamba was not known for moping and tardiness. He was a hardworking man, an extraordinary athlete and an amazing father and husband. If we really want to honor him, let's work. Work harder and get our dreams.

Me: (scoffing) With that virus around? (holding on to Qing's arm) Don't go. Let's stay here where it's virus free.

Qing: (wincing) It's a couple of provinces away, Dayu ah.

Me: It's airborne! We are vulnerable because we breathe air!

Qing: We don't know if it's airborne yet. Data are still being gathered about it. And there are millions of lives currently shut out of the world, right now. Trapped there. Who do you pity more? Us or them?

Me: (pouting) There you are again, minimizing my fears...

Qing: No. I'm...(sighing) I'm sorry. Of course I am worried too. I want you, Mama, JiJi and JR to leave the country until this virus is over or there is a clear treatment for it. Take your mother too. Damn it! Take our parents and the dogs too!

Me: What about you?

Qing: (giving me a little grin) I will be here, fighting zombies.

I snatched a pillow to hit his body with it. Qing laughed, there is still sadness in him but he laughed and I found myself smiling with him.

Me: I hate 2020.

Qing: Don't say that.

Me: It sucks, Qing. I love him. He is one of my heroes.

Qing: I know. As consolation though, we got to see him in person and watched him play here in Beijing a couple of times. Let the man rest in peace, Dayu ah. I envy him, to be honest. He has made a solid mark here on Earth while he was still living. He touched millions of lives. His works and charities will remain. He was here.

I nodded. Qing pulled me in a hug and I leaned against him.

Me: (tired tone) Don't let the zombies get to you. Don't be a zombie also.

Qing: (chuckling) This ordeal will be over soon. I hope it will be over soon. There are children suffering there.

My heart breaking again. Oh the children...

Me: (feeling helpless) Me too. This sucks.

Qing passed a gentle hand on my back and we silently comfort each other. I hoped time would freeze in that moment but apparently time is a jerk. It will keep on moving.

And we have to move with it. And we have to make it worthwhile. Our time here. Our lives.

It's a broken record but there are moments in history when it will force you to think that life is indeed short. And death could come suddenly. Life is not at all like basketball where someone will give a booming warning if there's only two minutes left in the game. There are deaths that will come without any warning and that is scary.

It's scaring me.

So I hugged Qing tighter. Kissed him longer. And whispered "I love you" to him accompanied with all the love I have for him in my heart. I'm not taking anything for granted when it comes to Qing, I want him to know that I love him and that he makes me happy. That being with him makes this life of mine worth living.

January 2020 is too long...

I hope February will arrive soon.