SNL 2020

Virus

Self quarantining is hard AF.

Hello...to the world of Coronavirus. This is insane and we are all going to die.

Qing: No we won't.

Me: Yes we will.

Qing: (sighing) Stop scaring yourself, you might have a panic attack. And stop putting hand sanitizer every five steps, Love. Our condo is close to looking like a shop for hand sanitizers.

He exaggerates. So we have a dozen bottles hand sanitizers spread around our condo, is that too much?

(We think so...yes. We mean, twelve is an insane amount of hand sanitizers to be used together for one house, Dayu ah.)

Why do you all always agree with your Baba? Why?

Qing: Because it's insane. JiJi has a child in her house and she only got like four or five bottles of hand sanitizers lying around her house. Mama has the same number as my sister. A dozen is unjustifiable, Dayu ah.

Me: Why is it unjustifiable? One each on the seven living spaces in our house: living room, entertainment room, bedroom, walk in closet, laundry room, on our two bathrooms, the guest room...

Qing: (interrupting) No one is living on the guest room. Why put a hand sanitizer there?

Me: (glaring at him for the interrupting my monologue) If you won't stop contradicting me, someone will sleep on the guest room tonight and will get to use that hand sanitizer. I will give you one guess who...

Qing clamped his lips. I continued glaring at him before continuing my explanation on why we need twelve bottles of hand sanitizer on the condo.

Me: Two on the kitchen because it's the kitchen and I won't explain to you why we need utmost cleanliness in the place where we cook and eat. Another one on. the cabinet closest to the foyer so when someone came in, they can sanitize instantly. Then one on the balcony....

Qing: (exasperated) Why did you put a sanitizer on the balcony?

Me: Because it's expose! The balcony is exposed!

Qing: The virus is not airborne, Dayu ah. You need to have a close contact to someone infected to acquire the virus. The balcony doesn't need a hand sanitizer because you may not believe this but please do, no one is insane enough to climb hundreds of meter from the ground to get into our balcony from the outside.

He got a point but I am not backing down.

Me: I water plants there, my hands get dirty when I sweep and wipe the surfaces on the balcony. Having a hand sanitizer there is logical. I can clean my hands before coming back inside the house. Tell me that's not a smart thing to do?

Qing: (sighing) I...fine. That's great.

Me: (smiling as I won that one) and one in my pantry.

Qing: (long suffering groan) You already made us wipe every items with alcohol wipes. Why do we have so many canned goods and jars again? And all those packages...

Me: We need them. We are currently in self quarantine, remember? A well stocked pantry is a necessity.

Qing: Which is stupid because we are not sick.

Me: It's our citizen duty to practice social distancing, Wang Qing. We are young and healthy, but not all of us are like that. There are immunocompromised people around us. Your parents, your nephew...old people and children. Sick people. People with weak lungs. If the virus touched them, their survival is not guaranteed.

Qing: (nodding) I know.

Me: I know you know. And I know you care. Lets just do what we can to help not spread the virus more. Don't worry, we have enough supplies to survive for at least three weeks without going out.