SNL 2020

Human Vs. Pooch

And she's back! Cupcake is back and she is still bitchy as fuck.

We had to look after her for two days. JiJi would like to leave Cupcake to us for at least a week but I told her that I can only do two days because...

Me: If it get longer than two days, two things could happen. One, I will throw your dog over the balcony and watch her fall to her death with great satisfaction. Or two, I will jump over our balcony as your bitch of a dog watch me fall to my death with great satisfaction.

JiJi: (sighing) Why do you exaggerate like that?

Me: Am I exaggerating? Am I?

Qing: No one will go over our balcony. I am locking the balcony door.

Me: There is still the rooftop.

Qing: (to his sister) We'll take her for two days only.

So...I won that one.

(Oh Dayu ah...)

Look, I get it. I get that I should be the bigger person here (literally because the other party is a little Bichon doggie) and just be mature enough to deal with Cupcake but really, really...the dog is a challenge.

The moment she stepped into my home, she barked at my shin and punched my foot.

(How...what?)

You know, when a little dog tap her paw on top of your foot. It doesn't hurt really but since Cupcake is looking at me with her bitchy beady eyes while doing that, I think her intent was to punch my foot.

And then the little diva went to Qing, sat prettily and wagged her little tail. The little bitch!

(How many times will you call her a little bitch?)

A lot of times. You have been warned.

Me: Look at her. She got heart shaped eyes for you.

Qing: (picking Cupcake up) She is just sweet to me. (touching his nose on Cupcake's nose) Who is the good girl?

Cupcake barked happily. Yes, I can distinguish a happy bark from an angry bark. Don't ask me how.

I just know that Cupcake is barking happily at Qing while she has nothing but disdain for me. While my fiancé looked like a cat who got the cream.

Qing: It will be nice to have my attention get competed with. Lets see who will be the better attention seeker between the two of you.

Me: You already sucked the semen off my dick!

Qing: (utterly surprised) What?

Me: (eyes shifting) I mean...you look like a cat who got the cream and I just think you already literally had that when you gave me a blowjob awhile ago so...

Qing: (sighing) Where did your mind wander again?

Me: A wandering mind is a beautiful mind.

Qing: (with judgmental gaze at me) Your mind just went to the blowjob I gave you awhile ago.

Me: (patting his chest appreciatively) And it was a nice blowjob. Good work, my Sweat King.

Cupcake, upon seeing me touching Qing, barked and snarled at me. So what did I do?

(You took your hard off Baba so Cupcake won't bite you?)

What? No! I snarled back at her. Bitchy little dog.

(Omona...)

Qing: (swinging his arms to take Cupcake away from me) A child can hear you. Please stop talking about your dick getting sucked. (to Cupcake) Cupcake, I think you are the better and sweeter one this time. Dayu just have a dirty mind and mouth. Lets leave him to stew on his sleaziness and lewdness.