SNL 2020

Beloved pt1

Is there anything harder to endure than losing a loved one?

(Dayu ah...?! Who died...?)

Hey, don't panic. No one died. Well...people die all the time, especially now that there is a deadly pandemic gripping the world. My heart goes to every person and family who lost a loved one because of this virus. It is a cruel illness that gives its victims lonely deaths alone, mostly, in ICU's while their loved ones couldn't even visit them much less say goodbye.

It is heartbreaking. The stories we sometimes see on the internet. How families say goodbye to their loved ones who are suffering and dying from this virus through videochat or behind thick glass walls. Not being able to give them comforting touches and hugs.

My father held my grandfather's hand when GrandPa was dying. Baba told me that he was thankful for that moment when he was there to grip GrandPa's hand and tell his old man not to be scared of dying. Baba told GrandPa they will meet again and the love and respect they have for each other will be there regardless of what their relationship will be like in their next life together.

I find that sweet...and hopeful. I also wish to be by my parents' side if ever they get close to dying. Morbid thoughts, I know...but please bear with me. I want to hold my parents' hands as well and tell them to choose me again to be their son. That life with them, has been perfect for me.

But we are not talking about any person dying. To be fair, not all loved ones could be considered humans. Pets are loved ones as well and...

(Oh no...)

Yeah, I know. Pets dying is not really anything better than human loved ones dying. Pets are family as well and when a pet dies...when a pet dies...

ZhiMing: (looking devastated) A big part of my heart died with her.

Me: (hugging ZhiMing) I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for Miss Daisy...

(Oh no...not Miss Daisy...)

Yes, its Miss Daisy. ZhiMing's regal and royal like cat died at the start of this week. What a shitty way for the last quarter of the year to start.

Qing and I went to support ZhiMing. Jin and Yao are already there to stand beside their childhood friend as well. I went by ZhiMing's side as he waits for Miss Daisy's ashes to be handed to him. ZhiMing chose for Miss Daisy to be cremated. He stood stoically but there is a kind of unbelieving look on his eyes that gave me a clue that all of these doesn't seem real to ZhiMing yet.

While ZhiMing's childhood friends tried to make things lighter for him. In fairness to them, they tried. They really do. But they could still be insensitive...or maybe ZhiMing is truly smarting from the hurt of losing his beloved cat that was why he is overly sensitive.

Qing: She is at peace already. You told me a month ago that her condition was worsening and that she needed a larger dose of painkiller so she'll not live with the pain of her cancer.

Jin: And she was what? Seventeen years old already. She was almost blind and definitely deaf. And almost the only reason why she had gone as far as she can was because you cared for her so deeply and made sure she is comfortable.

Yao: True. ZhiMing ah...you loved her enough. Stop feeling down.

ZhiMing: (glaring vehemently at his childhood friends) I could still love her more! I have more love in my body and heart for her! I would have loved her more!

I hugged him tight this time as ZhiMing started crying. I glared at his friends as well. Annoyed at them even though one of these jerks is the love of my life.