SNL 2020

Episode Pt2

Qing: Are you okay now?

Me: (smiling) Yes. Thank you.

Qing: (shaking his head) No. Thank you for following the procedure and calming down. Thank you for getting through that episode even though you are alone...

Me: Stop! None of that. Don't feel guilty that you were not there. I'm ecstatically happy that you got here in time to comfort me. I'm so happy, Qing.

Qing: (smiling) Okay. I'm happy too that I got here to comfort you. What do you want to do now?

Me: (smile turning cheeky) Can I have a treat?

Qing: (sighing) You will take advantage of this this situation, right?

Me: (nodding) I want donuts and milkshake.

Qing: (helpless chuckling) Fine! Two treats.

Me: Yehey! (turning serious) And uhm...can you run to the grocery to buy the missing items. My OCD couldn't take it that they were not there. Then help me arrange the groceries. Can you do that?

Qing: Of course. Just give me the list and I will buy them for you.

Me: Thank you. And uhm...no calling that online shop, okay? Promise me.

Qing: I won't. I promise. But tell me, do you want to hide this to your family?

I thought about it for a moment. Should we hide this episode to our family? Do we lie to them again by keeping this mum?

I shook my head.

Me: We should tell them. I don't have the energy to lie to them about this anymore.

Qing: Okay. Lets arrange the groceries first, have dinner, you have your treats and then we can call to tell them what happened.

Me: (suddenly concern) This will make them worry about me, right?

Qing: Not if we will assure them that you handled it well. And you did, Love. You handled it so well.

Qing sounded proud of me and I feel emotional again.

Me: Even though you found me crying on the pantry floor?

Qing: (nodding) I will take you crying on the floor a million times over finding you losing it because you cannot breathe. I'm okay to see you cry, Dayu ah. I could comfort you if you are crying. I don't know what I will do if you get hurt because of frolonged panic attack.

Me: (nodding) I understand.

Qing: (kissing my forehead and hugging me again) I'm so proud of you, Love. Thank you for getting through that so well.

I started feeling proud of myself because of what he said.

After making sure that I wil be fine on my own, Qing went out again for a grocery run to buy the missing items on my list. I need them to feel better. I know it's strange for some but I am done apologizing for my OCD. I need all the items on my list and that's the only way I will feel better. Plus, Qing also made a donut and ice cream run for my treats.

When he got back, Qing changed his clothes and he helped me arrange the groceries on the pantry and the fridge. In fairness to that online shop, the vegetables they sent me all look good and fresh. But I am still mad at them and I won't shop there again.

Qing and I had beef soup and deep fried breaded zucchini for dinner. Then we made choco chip milkshake and had that for desert. Qing cleaned up after dinner while I got ready for bed and convinced myself that I will be fine when I tell our parents about my episode.