SNL 2020

Bent pt3

Me: I want to plead my case. When I left the victim, it was still alive. Did I rough it out a liftle, sure. But did I actually kill it? That's for you to prove before you can pass judgment.

I am kneeling on top of the cushions on top of the sofa with my arms stretched all the way forward in front of me. Qing is cruel to do this to me. I would have preferred it if he will let me kneel on the hard floor.

He is making me perform a balancing act on the couch. Its hard to stay still while kneeling on two cushions smacked together while on top of the couch. One wrong tilt and I will fall. If I fall on the wrong direction, my face might meet and kiss the center table. That, if I am lucky. If I'm not lucky, I will go all the way down to the floor. I think I better sway sideways to make sure I will land on the couch.

Qing: (crossing his arms) You bad squirrel. Your crime was not breaking my golf club. Your crime is trying to spin my head with lies, frustrating the hell out of me and making me insane. That has always been your crime.

Me: (glaring at him) Is it my fault if you have a weak mind that is susceptible to my lies?

Qing: Are you now admitting that you were lying?

Me: (sneering) I want my attorney. I demand a lawyer! A representation. This is justice malpractice!

Qing: (smirking) Sure. Who do you want me to call? My Baba or Zhu gege?

Me: (paling at the names he is dropping) That is grave threat. I could sue you for that.

Qing: (chuckling) Me calling my Baba or Zhu gege to tattle about your latest crazy antic is the only thing that scares you, right? That and disappointing our mothers.

Me: (batting my eyelashes at him) And also losing you. Thats on the top of my scare list. Losing you. I love you, Qing.

Qing: (growling) Save it, you devious creature you. If you love me, why did you break my golf club? And why are you lying about it?

Me: (sneering again) I don't know what you are talking about. I didn't break anything, well except for the carpet beater. And the incense burner. (frowning) But does that count? Me breaking the incense burner. Why is it, for some reason, breaking the incense burner doesn't count in this house?

Qing: (snorting) Maybe because like the case with your candles, you have a box full of incense burner you bought in bulk. So you can easily replace a burner when you break one.

Me: Ah, right.

Qing: (sighing) Tell me, what did you see online that got you scared? Its the price, right?

Me: (sighing tiredly as well) Okay, fine. Let me up.

Qing: Will you tell the truth this time?

Me: Yes.

Qing: Okay get up, Love.

Qing helped me out of my pitiful kneeling position. He sat next to me on the couch and massaged my legs.

(Baba spoils you. This is all his fault, really)

Yeah...it is. Can you tell him that?

(No! We are scared of him too!)

Cowards! All of you. QingYu daughters? Bull. More like Qing's whooped asses. Fine! I want to be in the club. I'll be the president, chairman and CEO of that club. I'll be the janitor too. And secretary because I think my handwriting is pretty.