SNL 2020

What A Mess

A pair of Qing's solid gold stud earrings have gone missing one day. It was time for me to take some of our jewelries to a jewelry shop to get them clean and Qing asked me to take his stud earrings to get them clean and shiny.

But I couldn't find them so I rummaged in our walk in closet to see if Qing left them lying around in disregarded mess again.

I mean, I love the man but Qing sometimes sheds stuffs from his body like he is a snake. A shirt here, his sweats there, his gym bag on the living room floor, his keys rolling around on top of some cabinets, his shoes flying around and even his accessories. The man couldn't put his stuffs in the right places. I had to clean after him.

Good thing I love cleaning and putting things where they were supposed to go. If I am a different person, I could have boxed Qing's ears now for being this messy. It's hard living with a slob if you have OCD. But if you asked Qing...he will say...

Qing: I do that deliberately. I let things lie around for you to pick them up and put on their right places because that makes you happy. I see that you always feel great after cleaning up. What will you clean up if I won't mess things around here?

He is full of bullshits. He is a messy boy and he is lucky I like cleaning.

So I am looking for his stud earrings. I called Qing to ask if he can remember where he last put those earrings on but the daft man said he can't remember but he is sure that those were just lying around in our condo.

Qing: It's just there, Dayu ah. I swear, they are just there in our condo.

Me: So what do you want me to do? Flip the whole condo around to find it?!

Qing: Can't you do that?

Me: (growling) You...

Qing: (chuckling) If you can't find it, just leave it. It can get clean next time.

Ugh! He is killing me.

So I was not about to give up and I still tried to find those earrings of his. DaWan is busy cleaning on the kitchen. She was scheduled to housekeep for us this weekend. But while we were both busy with our respective task, I noticed something off with her.

Me: (while we are having lunch together) Are you sick? You seems quiet. More quiet than usual. If you are sick, you can stop working and go home to rest. Do you have medicines at home? Or do you want us to go to a hospital so you can have a check up? Tell me. Answer me.

DaWan: How can I answer if you won't give me a chance to say anything?

Me: Oh right. Okay, lets keep it slow and one at a time. Are you sick?

DaWan: No. I am fine.

Me: But you seem quiet. Are you having a hard time cleaning our stove?

DaWan: No.

Me: I see. Then why are you being weird and all?

DaWan: Nothing.

Me: Ugh! Can I just say this? I hate it when there is something obviously wrong and people say nothing. Don't tell me nothing is wrong when you are all being quiet there. Tell me if you think the world is ending so I can ready myself to welcome it!

DaWan: (smiling slightly) How will you welcome the end of the world?

Me: By grabbing Qing and our dogs and going underground to our secret bunker.

DaWan: (chuckling) You have a secret bunker?

Me: No. Qing and I are still negotiating on where we will build our bunker. He wants it here in the Capital. I say we should build it on a snowy mountain in Heilongjiang.