SNL 2020

Back in His Arms

Qing promised to take himself, me and my parents to see Manchu Pichu once all of this chaos about a virus is over.

But first, he has some whining to do.

I got back to Beijing in one piece. All happy and relaxed squirrel after spending days in my hometown with my family and friends. I am excited to get back to work but if there is someone who was not excited to see me, its my fiancé.

Me: (sitting beside Qing in the living room couch) What is wrong now? Aren't you happy I am home?

Qing: (sneering) A day late? Should I be happy that my fiancé decided to extend his vacation away from me for one whole day?

Me: (laughing uneasily) It just happened that way. Mama suddenly decided she will cook a feast for us so what am I supposed to do...leave Mama on her own. Of course I have to help her to prepare the meal for our family and friends.

Qing: All of you were there? GrandMa, Xiao, Meng...your godson...

Me: (nodding) Yes. All of us were there. If you didn't sulk around all day and took my call, we could have had a videochat and you get to greet them. But no...you decided I was the bad man for not going home fast enough to suit you.

Qing: You promised it'll be just three days.

Me: Three days, four days...really, the difference is not that much.

Qing: If I'm the one who did it to you...

Me: Yes, it will piss me off too and yup, I'll also probably curse you to hell and back. I will also sulk and throw it on your face for two weeks. But that's me. I'm neurotic like that. Really Qing, there can only be one unreasonable person in this relationship. If you will take that lane too...what will happen to us?

Because really, your Baba is not a sulky kind of guy. Qing can turn grumpy and surly but he is never sulky. If you slighted him or break a promise, he will make you sorry for it by giving you a long lecture and ignoring you for days. But he is not sulking, he is teaching you a lesson.

In this relationship, I am the sulky one. I whine and sulk my way to getting what I want. Sometimes I nag too...oh, is that way people think I am the "feminine" one in this partnership?

No. That doesn't have anything to do with gender. Whining and sulking has nothing to do with being a male or a female. It's not a gender thing.

It's a Virgo thing. Look at your Virgo friends and you'll realize that I am right. Whining and sulking is a Virgo thing. We do that well. No other sign can whine and sulk better than a Virgo. We are great at pity parties too. No one can convince themselves that they are the martyr ones better than Virgos. We are good at telling ourselves that we sacrifice our own happiness and well being for others.

Yes, we are so full of it. So don't ever assume that I whine and sulk because I feel feminine or any of that bullshit. I do that well because I was born under the sign of whiny and sulky Virgo.

Note: if you are a Virgo and reading this and you are disagreeing with me...you have lied to yourself so well that you managed to convince yourself that you are not the whiny and sulky type. Congratulations to you.

Anyways, we should really have a conversation about star signs and such but this is not the entry for that. This is the entry of Qing being grumpy because I came home one day later than my promise. I extended my visit to my hometown and Qing was not happy.

Gosh, he will die without me. His happiness depends on me being close to him. Your Baba is so dependent on me.

(Really?)