SNL 2020

JR in the Museleom

Have you ever been set aside in favor of babies? Yeah...welcome me to your club.

Since JiJi dropped JR to our condo, I was chopped liver to Qing. He devoted his whole attention to JR like he was not up inside my ass less than one hour ago.

I knew it! He is just with me for sex!

(You are impossible)

True. I am ugly like this. But as much as I hate Qing focusing on JR and not throwing some on me, I also hate that he hogged all the baby's attention.

I want some love from JR too! What the heck?! Qing is not the only needy uncle here. But the thing is...JR is being a diva. Which means, he cries whenever I am picking him up.

Qing: (taking JR from me) (JR instantly quieting down) Why is he being like this? JR, why are you being mean to Uncle Dayu?

Me: (pouty) It's Cupcake. She has gotten through the baby.

Qing: Oh my god...

(Cupcake! We miss her!)

Yeah...no. Not me. I don't miss that little devilish bitch. She is still alive and breathing, no worries about that. She also still hates me, that hasn't changed either.

And I think she is passing her hatred on me to JR.

Qing: A dog and a baby couldn't conspire like that. They are dog and baby. Make it make sense, Love.

Me: Then why won't JR let me hold him?

Qing: (swaying while carrying his nephew) Maybe JR is having particulars today. You know, he only wants one person to hold him.

Me: Did he sense that I will leave him in the crib and let him cry all afternoon if he gives me a hard time?

Qing: Dayu ah...

Me: It's a joke.

Qing: Not a funny joke. It's about my precious nephew. Why don't you just prepare us some breakfast?

Me: (making face as I mimic him) Why don't you just prepare us some breakfast?!! Na na...

Qing: Feng Jian Yu.

Me: Breakfast?! On it!

I sneered at uncle and nephew before moving to the kitchen. I would have loved to leave them by themselves to get their own food breakfast but my stomach grumbled too so...yeah, breakfast it is.

It went on like that for hours. Qing and JR spending time together: playing and watching things together...while I was left to stand on the sideline and just watch them.

I'm like the kid on the playground that nobody wants to play with. Is it because I smell? JiJi said I smell like sex. Maybe that's why JR doesn't like me. He thinks I smell sleazy.

Me: Maybe if I take a bath, JR would like me.

Qing: JR likes you. Just not today...

Me: (ignoring Qing) JR do you want to take a bath with me?

JR gave me a blank look before squeezing Qing's nose. The baby made a laughing sound when Qing grimaced. I was left out again in that moment.

Oh I know, I will stuff both uncle and nephew on the crib and leave them to cry all afternoon.

I am starting to feel pathetic so I decided to run the bath. Qing carried JR around to follow me.

Qing: Take JR with you. You two take a bath together.

Me: No. You handle him. He only likes you.

Qing: Dayu ah...

Me: Fine!