SNL 2020

The Biggest Jerk pt2

Xiao came back on Meng's car looking stoic. I winced at him.

Me: Sorry. I'm really sorry...

Meng: Yeah, we heard you the first time. Stop saying sorry and tell us everything. What happened? We bought your story that Qing ge backed out from proposing to you. How did you two ended up being engaged now?

I sighed. So this is the downside of lying. You have to tell your truth over and over again. I told this story to JiJi already...now I have to repeat it for my bestfriends. And I have no doubt that I will have to repeat telling this story over and over until everyone who needs to know about our engagement were properly informed.

Fuck! Never lie peeps. It's tiring to explain a truth after you lied about it.

Anyhow, this is my situation so I sucked it up and told my friends the whole story. I even told them about the panic attacks I experienced. These are Meng and Xiao, I won't pass explaining my panic attacks on them to Qing. Qing did it in JiJi's case but that's because she is his sister and for Qing, I don't have to explain myself to his sister. Him, on the other hand, has that obligation.

But these people are my bestfriends and they have the rights to know everything about me from me.

Silence reigned after I confessed everything to them. Then Meng cleared his throat.

Meng: You are seeing a psychiatrist for that?

Me: (nodding) I am. She prescribed a medicine for me. I am taking it. I am doing better guys.

Xiao: (scowling) I don't care. Stop hiding behind your mental illness to escape our anger for lying.

Meng: Xiao! Mental illness is a serious matter!

Xiao: (glaring at Meng) I know! But Dayu lying to us didn't help his matter! Did it help him? Don't you know him? He probably spent those months lying to us stewing in guilt. If he was honest from the start, he could have saved himself months of feeling guilty! He should stop using his predicament as a tool for us to feel pity on him!

Me: I'm not using it to gain pity points.

Xiao: (turning his angry glares at me) Good! Don't use it as well to gain our forgiveness. At least mine. I will not make this easy for you, Feng Jian Yu. Stew in guilt some more!

Meng: For fuck's sake! Stop shouting at him!

Xiao: I will shout! I am angry!

Me: Yes. Be angry. I understand.

Xiao: (that anger him more) Fuck you for understanding! I don't need your understanding! You won't slither out of this easily! Fuck you!

Meng groaned and massaged the bridge of his nose. Xiao sat in the passenger seat with his arms tightly crossed in his chest. He is a ball of anger and hurting from my lies. I...am now seeing the devastating effect of my lies on my friends in real time.

Meng: (tired tone) I thought, if anyone will understand Dayu for lying and keeping a secret...it will be you. I think you have no rights to be this mad on him.

Xiao lied to us for almost a year while secretly dating Meng's sister. As crime goes, his was more grave than mine.

But at the same time...

Xiao: (in tightly suppressed emotion) That is the exact reason why I am angry at him. He saw me do this. He knows the hurt I inflicted on the two of you...why would he inflict the same pain on us? I mean, if he only lied to me, I will forgive him instantly. I can shrug it off easily...ah, Dayu must be going back at me for lying to him about dating DaLin. Okay, fine, score settled. We are even. Done and done. But to lie to you as well, Meng. Why would he hurt you too after I hurt you? Do we even deserve you at this point? Poor you Meng, you have liars for friends. Fuck!