SNL 2020

Housekeeper, Jacuzzi and Flu Shots

We finally have a new housekeeper. Qing succeeded in replacing Mrs.Tiu with someone.

And I don't like her.

Qing: Why?

Me: She is like ZhiMing's Antoine. She doesn't like me.

Qing: (rolling his eyes) And I don't blame her. You were hovering close by while she was working, so of course you made her feel uncomfortable.

Me: (snickering) I was just observing how she does things. I mean, I have certain standards and Mrs.Tiu encouraged me to have standards. That's why she and I compliment each other.

Qing: No. You and Mrs.Tiu complimented each other because she is patient with your OCD and weirdness. She indulged you that way.

Me: (feeling affronted) That is not...what do you mean weirdness...what?!!

Qing: (sighing) Let it go, Love. Looks like DaWan is a good housekeeper. She is thorough. You even like the way she cleaned up after herself. She met your OCD's standard.

Me: I still don't like her. Lets look for someone else to be our housekeeper.

Qing: Well, I like her. The Goddess next door likes her because she employed DaWan as well. Mrs.Tiu recommended her. She will stay.

Me: (crossing my arms over my chest) Maybe I should remind you that we are cohabiting in this place and your decision is not the final factor that will determine how things will go around here. We should discuss this and come up with a solution that both of us could live with.

Qing: (nodding) Fair point. Okay. Lets discuss this. Lets lay out the reasons why we like or dislike DaWan. If she should stay or not as our housekeeper. Can I start?

Me: Sure. Go on.

Qing: Okay first, she looks trustworthy. I feel like she has been truthful to us when we interviewed her for the job. She seems efficient. She looks like someone who knows what she is doing. Plus, and most important of all, she won't hurt you.

Me: (frowning) How can you say that? Is it because she is barely 5 feet who needs eyeglasses to see? Have you seen that woman heft a full crate of books? She is strong! She can benchpress the both of us!

Qing: (chuckling in delight) She is strong, right? I wonder if she is working out. And no, its not because she is vertically challenged with eye issues. Because she is also part of our minority group. She is even a minority in our minority group.

Me: Ah, is she aware that the reason why she passed the Wang Qing test is because she is an asexual?

Qing: (nodding) Yeah. And she agreed with me. She is quite comfortable working for two gay guys...

Me: (raising a hand) Ah...ah...lets not be hasty with labeling people. I am not gay. I used to date and sleep with women although how many, I won't tell. A gentleman doesn't do that.

Qing: Two, isn't it?

Me: Darn it! How did you...(shaking my head) Nope! You can guess but I won't confirm anything. (encouraging tone) Keep on guessing...

Qing: (superior smirk) I don't care how many you slept with before you said yes to me. I don't have any moral grounds in this. I slept around before I settled with you. I think close to fifty people...?

(*gasp* Omona...Baba!)

Me: (gasping with y'all) You! I hate you and your promiscious past, you promiscious jerk! And what do you mean settle? WHAT DO YOU MEAN SETTLE?!