SNL 2020

Prenup List pt2

Me: Well, you now know what I will demand if you ever try to physically abuse me.

Qing: (nodding) You will break every bone in my body.

Me: And I demand the rights to stab you repeatedly in your sleep if you ever attempt to rape me.

Qing: (stunned blinking) Goodness.

Me: (in all seriousness) Don't rape me. I will really kill you.

Qing: As you should. And don't ever let my parents see my corpse or hear what I did, Love. It's shameless of me to ask this but if I ever do that, rape you, don't put that pain on my parents.

Me: Okay. Since I love your parents, I will spare them. What's next...ah this. I demand the rights to cut off all your limbs if you ever cheat on me. Or at least cut off your balls.

Qing: Yikes.

Me: Don't cheat on me. The future generations of the Wangs will be lost if you ever cheat on me. (pausing) Oh but we still have Zhu gege so yeah, maybe the Wang line will continue.

Qing: That's not the point! You are threatening my balls!

Me: Yeah.

Qing: (looking deflated) Nothing is sacred to you anymore.

Me: (laughing) Yes. Okay what's next. Oh...I demand the rights to burn down the whole mansion if you ever blantantly and unremorsely disrespected my parents.

Qing: My god.

Me: (glaring at him) Don't ever disrespect my parents. They cherish you a lot, the least you could do is always be respectful to them.

Qing: I will.

Me: (face feeling a little hot) I will also do my best to never disrespect your parents. They have been great and supportive to me. I always feel gratitude towards them.

Qing: (kissing my cheek) Thank you, Love. For always putting efforts to make my parents happy. For loving my family.

Me: That's a two way street. I know you make efforts to make my parents happy too.

I am lucky to find someone who respect and love my parents. Qing does that and I am every grateful to him.

Me: (consulting my list) Next, I demand the rights to bathe you in acid if ever you hurt our children.

Qing: I...ah...don't know what to say to that.

Me: You don't have to say anything. Just nod and agree. My Mama, while she was still pregnant with me, threatened my Baba that she will murder his whole clan if she ever saw Baba hurt me. Be glad I will just bathe you in flesh eating acid.

Qing: (nodding) Thank you for sparing my whole clan. And sure, do that. Bathe me in acid if I ever raise my hand to hurt our child. Heck, videotape the whole thing.

Me: Oh I will. You don't have to worry about that. What's next...oh, I demand that you give me at least three chances if I ever make mistakes like...you know...the balcony thing.

Qing: Give you chances to put your life in danger.

Me: I am being very careful nowadays. The bicycle thing was unfortunate but not really life threatening.

Qing: (sighing) Sure. Okay. But it will depend on how high the balcony, Dayu ah. If it's too high, I think I will need to lock you up.

He means, depending on how dangerous the situation I put myself into. If it's too dangerous, he will take control. That seems fair.

Me: Okay.

Qing: Cool. What's next?

Me: I demand you not to be too cruel if you are mad at me. No calling me smelly again.

Qing: I already apologized for that.

Me: (nodding) I know and I forgave you already but it's not bad to have a reminder that it's not cool to call me smelly. What's next? Oh, never let me neglect you. Always demand things from me, Qing. Make me care. Never let me take you for granted.

Qing: I won't let you do that to me. I promise.

Me: That's it...for now.

Qing took the notepad from me and he set it aside. Then we hugged tightly. I sighed as I let his nearness calm me down.

Qing: It'll be alright. If you overthink stuffs, they could come across as too much. But I think that discussing things will be helpful to us in the long run. We are already engaged and it's time we envision what being married to each other will entail.

Me: (leaning out so I can look at his face) I know being married to you will be an adventure. Just as being boyfriends with you and being engaged to you has been an adventure so far.

Qing: I hope so. I hope our marriage life won't be boring.

Me: (fiddling with the collar of Qing's shirt) I just...I don't want to lose myself while being married to you. If I will stop working, I might get absorbed and lost in the background.

Qing: Oh Love...

Me: I mean, surely I could learn how to manage the museleom and work at the same time. Right?

Qing: (nodding) Of course. You are one smart man, Feng Jian Yu. I know you can multitask.

Me: (brightening up) Exactly! So maybe...let me work even after we got married. Please...

Qing sighed before nodding. I planted a soft kiss on his lips for giving in to what I want.

Me: Thank you.

Qing: No need to thank me. I know I'm asking a lot from you. I just want you to know that I'll support you, no matter what.

Me: And I you. I'll also support you.

Qing: I know. You have loved me for so long now, I stopped wondering what I did to deserve you. I just thank the heavens everyday that you are mine.

Me: That's sweet.

We are indeed, a sweet couple. I collected the lists we made for our prenup and put them on the safe. Qing got a phone call so he turned busy with that. I got into thinking.

I wondered if every person who found themselves getting engaged or married get flustered with the changes that could happen in their lives like I do.

Maybe this is the reason why some people got cold feet or runaway from the altar. I don't think I'm a good candidate to be a runaway groom. I cannot see myself doing that although I did run away when Qing first propose.

But Qing and I are giving ourselves plenty of time to prepare to be married. I think if you prepared for years to get married and still left your supposed spouse to be in the altar...that person has the right to sue you for everything you have. Imagine having years to prepare and you still run away? What kind of thrashy person is that?

Okay...I think I'm turning judgmental. But really, leaving someone at the altar is not cool, y'all. Not cool.

Maybe Qing and Pau were right...managing the museleom and raising children is not that bad of a life. Maybe I can do it for several years, without working and...

Wait a minute! Am I...has Qing finally...tamed me?! What?!

No no no! I will continue working! I can do it all! I can manage the mansion, be a supportive husband to Qing, be an attentive father to our would be children and still earn my own money.

Hah! I can do it all. I am good with multitasking.

Argh! This marriage thing is already giving me a headache and I haven't said "I do" yet...what?

Whatever! I'll cross the bridge when I got there. For now...I will try my best to do my work. I still have time...no one knows, maybe I'll be an A-list actor one day.

He he