SNL 2020

Limbo Pt2

The next day, Qing went back to working. He had breakfast, showered, dressed up and went out to do meetings and interviews. I did the same. I went to a music studio to check out some music. I really want to make an album again.

Then I met Jin and LiPin for lunch.

Jin: That's it? You guys are living like everything is normal again?

Me: No. No one is living under the illusion that things are back to normal. It's just...(sighing) at least we are together.

LiPin: (looking worried) I am not liking this, Dayu ah.

Me: (nodding) Me too. But what can I do? At least Qing is not drinking anymore. He said he drank too much while he was in Jin's place that he probably need an alcohol poisoning test soon.

Jin: Have you guys...thought about breaking up...AW!

Jin shouted that last word while I flinched in sympathy for him when LiPin smacked his sidearm hard. Like hard. She is a daughter of a cop and knows self defense. She's a ballbuster herself.

LiPin: Stop telling them to break up.

Jin: I am just floating it around. It's an idea. And it will break...whatever this is they have going between them.

Me: We are in a limbo.

LiPin: Oh Dayu ah!

She reached across the table to hold my hand. Jin gave me a worried look.

Me: I broke Qing. He was someone who is always sure about himself and his goals yet now...he is taking things one day at a time. Qing is someone who looks at the future and plan things for it but now...it's like the future is not on his immediate concern anymore.

Jin: He is holding on to everything he has just to get by. He is surviving, Dayu.

Me: Yeah and I did that to him. (rubbing a palm on my face) There is Qing, trying to survive while I am living in guilt. Maybe you are right. Maybe breaking up is the answer.

LiPin: (giving me a solid glare) It's not! If you two break up, you will totally lose Qing. According to a study, almost 89% of couples breaking up while going through a difficult trial never get back together. Only 11% managed to get back on the road to happiness again. That's too big of a margin to risk it. Meanwhile, 66% of couples who stick together while in trials got pass their problems and lived to stay together. Go with the 66% percent, Dayu ah.

Jin: (smiling at LiPin despite the topic) Gosh, you sprouting those statistic is just weirdly sexy. What a nerd.

LiPin: (snorting) I study data. Data of couples. I know what I am talking about.

Me: So I should stay with Qing even though being with me reminds him of that moment that hurts him the most?

LiPin: Yes. You two should stay together because if you can stay together through the happiest moment of his life, you should also stick with him through his pain.

Me: (groaning) I know that. What about a cooling stage? A cool off stage.

LiPin: You already had that when he spent almost two weeks at Jin's place and did nothing but drink and wallow in his pain.

Me: (deflating) Oh, right. We already did that.

LiPin: Listen to me. Stay with Qing. Sure, you two migh be in a limbo right now but like you said, at least you are together.

Me: But this is hard for Qing. Being with me.

LiPin: You are guessing. Ask him what is harder, being with you or not being with you. Talk to him. Talk to each other. An open communication is your friend right now. Dayu ah, promise me you will do this. I have to go back to Harbin tomorrow and I want to know that you won't give up on Qing just because you think being with you is furthering his pain. I won't stop worrying until you promise me that you will do this right.