SNL 2020

A Business Broker pt1

And we are back at the golf course...

(Ohhhhh...)

Yeah...yeah...whatever. We are back on the green grass with our stupid golf sticks and swinging it to hit stupid golf balls. I hate golf.

(Yes, we can tell...)

But its a necessary evil in business. Or at least that was what Baba said. I think he is not serious when he said that. Qing's father loves golfing. He passed that love of golf on Qing. Uncle and Zhu gege loves golfing too.

And the latest addition to their golf loving covenant is Pau.

Pau is a natural in golf. He has good posture and can hit the cursed blasted ball just fine. Unlike me. Once again, I found myself the odd man out in this family. They all love talking about business and golf while those things bore me to tears.

Me: (bored to tears) Are we almost done?

All of them looked at me.

Pau: Are you kidding me? We are just on the third hole, Dayu ah.

Me: Really? Well, how many holes are they in golf anyways?

Wang Zhu: 18 holes.

Me: (eyes widening) 18 holes? Why are there so many...?

Qing: (frowning at me) Because it is what it is. There are 18 holes in golf. That's not the most important thing. Why didn't you know about that? You have been accompanying us to golfing for years now. A golf game going through 18 holes is common knowledge.

Me: (sarcastic tone) I don't know, Qing. Maybe we can attribute it on the fact that I just don't give a fuck about golf.

Qing: Jesus you...

Pau: (getting between us to diffuse the situation) There are eighteen holes, Dayu ah. 9 going forward and then you will go back to the start, that's another 9 holes.

Me: Oh you mean there are just only 9 holes in the whole course but you have to go through them twice that's why it became 18.

Wang Zhu: Yes. You are getting it...

Me: Ah...yeah...I still don't care about golf. Can't you guys hurry this up?

Qing: We can't. You see that cart that is coming close. Those in that cart are Baba and Uncle's foreign business associates. They have a deal they are trying to brokered. Those foreigners are fussy. This may take awhile.

Me: (panicking a little) Foreigners, you say? What nationality are they? Will be forced to speak Italian or French? I can't speak Italian or French. We will all die here if you try to make me speak Italian or French.

Wang Zhu: (chuckling) For some reason I now want to hear you speak Italian or French.

Qing: No! Dayu murdered the Italian language when we went to Tuscany for our vacation. I think he once told a man that his snout smells like a daisy.

Pau and Zhu gege laughed at that. I pouted a little as I smack Qing's arm.

Me: (irritated) You don't need to tell them that!

Pau: What were you trying to tell that man, really?

Me: (wincing) That he makes great cheese and wine.

Wang Zhu: (guffawed) Holy shit...that was way off the mark.

Me: I tried! At least I tried! Qing just stood there surveying everything like he is wondering how much profit he will make if he took home all those barrels of wine.