SNL 2020

Baby Dream

Remember that time I got sick because I ran under the rain and I thought it'll be alright but then my sinuses swelled up and I had a hard time breathing that I had to stay in the hospital for one afternoon to get my oxygen level stable?

(Was that story about your last entry?)

Yes. That. Well, do you all remember Qing's reaction to it? He was not happy.

(In fairness to Baba, no one was happy that it happened...)

Yes, in fairness to him. But I wouldn't say no one was happy that it happened. I spent three days in the museleom and I bonded with my fiancé's parents so...it was quite a blessing as well.

But Qing is back from his days away from the Capital because of work and he is currently putting me in rigorous routine of making me healthy.

(By rigorous routine you mean...?)

He is making me eat kale again.

(LOL)

Sure sure...laugh, you sadistic jerks. Kale is nasty. I don't care if it could give a person immortality, I hate it and after two days of having it on my smoothie and salad...I am getting ready to murder Qing, put him on the ground and plant kale on his grave with him as the fertilizer.

But luckily for all of us who love your Baba and don't want him to be fertilizer for kale plants, I found a good way to prepare kale and eat it. All I need to do was chop the kale to a manageable size, mix it with onion and seedless tomatoes then smother the whole thing with my Mama's spicy cold salad dressing.

The salad dressing consist of chopped pickled ginger, chilies, garlic, soy sauce, chili oil, salt, and some secret ingredients that I cannot reveal to preserve all our lives.

That salad sauce saved my life and Qing's life while he was strongly suggesting to me to eat healthier. It made kale edible and Qing was happy to see me eating it. It might be making my body healthy but eating kale is slowly killing my soul. But I am eating it because I am a responsible adult in a relationship with a person who worries about me and I love that person so I am making him happy by eating kale. So yeah, I am fucking eating it.

Now that we got that update out of the way, I am pissed with Qing.

(What happened now?)

He is so stupid. Like the most stupid person I know. I hate him.

Okay...fine, I don't hate him. I love the man. But damn he is not using his noggin' at time.

(Noggin'?)

Brain. That thing inside his skull. He doesn't use that at times. He apparently told Baba that he had "the baby dream".

(The baby what?)

The baby dream. You know, that dream that every person had one time of their life about them carrying or looking after a baby. That shit. Your Baba had one of those and he, stupidly, told his father about it.

Me: Why? Why would you do that?

Qing: (contrite) I don't know. It just slipped up and the next thing I knew, I am telling Baba my baby dream.

Me: And Baba told it to Mama who then called my parents and now everyone who doesn't need to know that you had the baby dream now knows you had it and they are pestering me.

I don't put too much stock on superstition. I mean, I believe in most sayings but most superstitions are a bit far reaching for me. That is weird because I literally experienced the placebo effect, one proven superstition, about someone experiencing pregnancy symptoms just because they spent significant amount of time close to pregnant women.