SNL 2020

Spring Cleaning in the Summer

I did some spring cleaning...

(But it's not spring anymore...summer is here...)

Yeah, whatever. It's just an expression. It means I totally obssessed about cleaning the whole condo because well...I want to...

Qing: Or your OCD is acting up again.

Me: Can you blame me?

Qing: No. I'm not blaming you. It's just, what you want to do sounds tiring. Like its a lot of work.

Me: Well, that is why I have the three of you to help me.

Qing, Jin and LiPin looked at each other in strickened panic.

LiPin: Oh, I'm just here in the capital to do some research.

Me: You are here to date Jin and sleep with him.

LiPin: (adamant) No! I'm here to hit some extensive libraries and do research that doesn't involve the internet and actually holding some books written by dead people about the power of the mind.

Me: (snorting) Bull. You already spilled the beans yesterday when we had our double date and you got a tad tipsy.

(You went to a double date?)

The other night. LiPin will be staying for a week here in the capital to do her research and of course I cannot let her go without treating her to dinner. Qing and Jin threw some epic tantrums to be included in our date.

Oh, you think Qing and I went to a double date with Jin and Lipin? No. My date was Lipin. Qing and Jin dated each other or whatever. They want to feel included that night, they were so needy. So in punishment for tagging along with us, I was the one who paid for dinner. I watched them squirmed and hold on to their golden wallets and black cards as I paid for the food and drinks we consumed that night. They think they could show off their money, well I showed them! I have money too!

Ha!

(Good for you, Dayu ah!)

Yes. But I will be privately crying as I pay for that dinner date in months on my card since we did drank a lot that got LiPin a bit tipsy.

Jin: (sighing) Drunk. She was drunk two nights ago and very strong. She is....(sighing again) I'm not complaining but she truly didn't have to tackle me on the bed...

LiPin: (flushing) Stop telling them private things about us!

Jin: I don't want to but they saw the bruises, babe. I had to explain those.

Qing: (sighing) I cannot believe you already have an endearment term for each other.

Me: Me too. I mean, as long as I don't hear the "babe" and "baby" I can pretend that you two are not together.

Jin and LiPin were ignoring us. They are so into each other.

LiPin: You could have lied and told them that you bumped on something...no, wait. That's how abuser teach their victims to tell. No, you are right. You have to be honest on how and when you got your injuries...

Jin: (pointing at his collarbone) This one I got when you bit me while I have my fingers in your...

LiPin and I: (scandalized) Oh my God! Stop!

Me: Say more and your mouth is the first one I will soap up!

Jin: (grinning at Qing) Dating someone from Heilongjiang is so much fun. Why didn't you say so earlier?

Qing: (bland tone) I thought that was a given when I literally snatched Dayu from there to shack up with me here. In case you missed it, I don't really do that before with my exes.