SNL 2020

Different Planes

Qing is leaving me! Someone, anyone, stop him!

I watched in horror as Qing closed his luggage shut after he made sure its packed to the brim. Then he put down the luggage and gave me a helpless look.

Qing: I'm sorry, my Love. But I have to do this. I see no other choice for us but this. Goodbye.

Me: No! No! You cannot do this to us! You cannot do this to me! Wang Qing!

Qing dragged his luggage out of the walk in closet and I closely trailed behind him. Amazed that this is how our relationship will end.

Me: You promised me. You promised me that you will never leave me like this. You swore to my heart that you won't break it like this. Wang Qing!

Qing: I know. But I have things to do and you...have your own things to do. And we cannot do it together.

Me: (catching up to him, putting myself in front of him) (raising my arms to barricade him) You cannot do this to me. You cannot leave me. (feeling tearful) Qing, don't leave me!

I lunged forward to hug him. Qing sighed tiredly as I wrapped my arms around him.

Me: (sniffing) What can I say to make you stay? What can I do? Qing, I will change. Whatever it is about me you find offensive, I will change it. And I promise...I promise to never domestically abuse you again. Or bad talk about you behind your back. Or fantasize about burying you alive when you annoy me. I will change my way! Don't leave me!

Qing: (peeling me away from his body) (shaking his head) I'm sorry, Dayu ah. I am late, I have to go.

I stepped away from him and pouted. I sniffed loudly and flipped my bangs. I groaned.

Me: Remember this day. I will get you for this.

Qing: (grinning) You have no one to blame but yourself.

Me: (ignoring his words) Think about yourself, waiting for me in the altar but will I appear? Hmmm...I already left you in a snowy meadow, you think leaving you in the altar will be a farfetched idea?

Qing: (chuckling) It's just shopping and driving around, Dayu ah.

Me: With your sister. And you know I love your sister. I do. I love her. If ever Gege cheated on her, I will be by her side as she burns her husband and her husband's mistress while they are still alive. I will even dig the hole for her to bury their burnt corpses. That's how much I love your sister.

Qing: (nodding) Remind me to remind Gege that he should never cheat on my sister...

Me: Do that. But for now...how do you expect me to keep my sanity if your sister will drag me around the whole Beijing just to find the items she wants? The last time I bargain hunted with her, I almost died. And I am not exaggerating.

Qing: You are exaggerating.

Me: (nodding) Fine, I am. But truly. Your sister is insane when she had the opportunity to have a whole day by herself. She loves her little family, but she resembles a prisoner who got out of prison after serving her 25 year sentence whenever Gege will agree with her spending a day driving around and shopping. She is a maniac on hunting items she loves. She is just like you. Except you are a maniac on exercising.

Qing: Did you just insult me and my sister?

Me: What do you think?

Qing: Hmmm, I'm not sure. I know you insulted us but I don't feel offended so...meh...

Me: Qing! Please! Talk to your sister to let me back off on that hunting expedition she calls shopping.

Qing: I can't. And I won't. You gave her your words, you should follow through. Why give her your words if you don't feel like going?