SNL 2020

Take Two Pt2

Me: (shaking my head in defensiveness) I am ready to marry Qing. I want to marry him. I love him.

Qing: (squeezing my hand) No one is questioning your love for me, Love.

I narrowed my eyes on him, he questioned my love for him when he was wallowing in pain! How dare he?! But I never got to say those thoughts out loud because the doctor spoke again.

Dr: (nodding) What he said is true, Dayu. Everyone in this room is aware about your love for Qing. You are here seeking answers and help, that's proof enough that you want to do better for the two of you and this relationship.

Me: (defensiveness deflating) Oh. Alright. And yes, I want to be better.

Dr: I know. And so...you want to marry him but you rejected his proposal. Do you have any idea why?

Me: I was surprised, I guess. I mean, I always knew we will somehow end up being married to each other but I thought it won't happen for like...another ten years.

Dr: Ah...so you think Qing went too fast.

Me: Maybe a little. But now that I got to think about it, that's not really a problem for me too. Qing said we can take this engagement thing as long as we want. He just want his ring on my hand. And that lifts up the pressure from me.

Dr: Okay. So you think that's all there is to it? The time pressure...

Me: (wincing) No. There is also our parents...

Qing and I alternately explained to the doctors about our parents desire to see us both settled down.

Qing: We are not blaming them. They are our parents and we know they never wish any harm to happen to us.

Me: (nodding to agree) The saying that parents only wants what's best for their child is true and alive in our parents.

Dr: (smiling) They sound like lovely people.

Me: They are the best.

Dr: True. They are the best in encouraging you two. The best in supporting you both. The best in helping. In understanding. In loving...

Me: (nodding along) True. True. All of that.

Dr: ...and they are also the best in putting pressure on the both of you.

I stopped nodding at that point.

Qing: (frowning) No. They don't pressure me much. My parents are well aware that I don't react to pressure that well. I push back as hard as they pressure me.

The good doctor and Qing turned to me when I remained silent after what Qing said. I stared back at them helplessly. My boyfriend groaned when he saw that helplessness in my eyes.

Qing: (to the doctor) Dayu mentioned that he rejected my proposal because he got scared of our families would be reaction to it. They will surely push us to prepare for the wedding in haste and sign those marriage documents fast.

Dr: (confuse) But you both said you intend this to be a long engagement.

Qing: (patting my hand) They will convince Dayu to reconsider the time frame.

The doctor and Qing looked at me again and waited for me to prove them wrong. Well, they are about to be disappointed. I sighed.

Me: (dejectedly) I'm a people pleaser. I love knowing that people like me so I try my best to be accomodating.

I am starting to hate that part of me. Maybe I should start to develop a habit of not giving too much fuck about other people's perception on me. Oh my...