More Than Expected

93

Asia POV

"So last time we were talking about your relationship?" I nodded.

"I don't care for him today." I shrugged.

"Why?"

"Because he wants to do everything but spend time with me. I don't care. All he does now is hang out with his friends and party." She nodded.

"Have you communicated your feelings with him?"

"He is gone for school by time I wake and he comes in and he is tired and sleepy and then he wakes back up. He's on the move again and then comes back and I'm sleep. There is no connection between us. I know some of it maybe my fault but damn." She nobody.

"Well I feel like you should communicate that with him. You have to learn how to articulate your feelings clearly without tears and yelling."

"I don't know he does this face and it make me feel so stupid and I hate feeling stupid. I told him a million times." She nodded. " and I think he still super upset about what I said about him and my sister. But I have told him plenty of times, I don't necessarily think that they are messing around, I just think he treats her better than me which I think is so fucking weird. I am your girlfriend not her."

" that's like the same thing that you said with your dad. You feel like he should treat her differently because she's not as biological daughter. Well, that's how you felt when you were younger."

" I mean, yes and no, I don't necessarily want him to treat her bad, but it's like you're treating me bad and you're treating her good. That makes no sense and that's all I'm trying to point out to him I didn't mean to make them weird with each other or anything like that. I just want him to see that I see the difference. Yes I could have approach the situation differently rather than come in with that energy. I understand it now completely, so the division between the two is absolutely my fault. I just want him to treat me better."

" has your sisters relationship always been this way?"

"Yes. I feel so bad for the way I treated her growing up. She just wanted to be my friend and I pushed her away. I don't know, I was kind of jealous of the way that my mom treated her. She mattered to my mom. My mom didn't care about me, she never cared about me, and she still doesn't care about me. And I also felt like she got babied by my mom and my dad, so who's going to baby me. I'm your child to, I'm your baby to. My mom didn't care about me so I felt like my dad should've given me all his attention since she was getting all my mom's attention. I was the rainbow baby for my mom, my mom had four miscarriages before I came, and it just so happened that it was the one time out of many that her and my dad messed around. How can she get better than me, that's not fair to me.
She experienced love from both parents. She gets both of them, and I only get one of them. She has a relationship with my moms parents, I don't have that. I never really got to have a mom or benefit from having a mom. My mom doesn't love me but she loves her. What's so good about her? Everybody treats her better than they treat me. It's like it naturally happens. Everybody clings to her and they baby her. They act like she's like the rarest stone in the world." I spoke truly.

"So you was jealous other the way people treated her?"

"Yes, I just felt like it was weird. You have two daughters, but you only love one. That makes no sense, and it was right in my face. I could never understand treating one child good and treating the other like shit."

" Well, if you couldn't understand it, why would you expect your dad to do it?"

" because I was here before her, I was here when my mom wasn't. It was just me and him for forever and then she comes in and now I have to share, but she doesn't. No that's not how life works. I feel like my dad should've definitely picked up where I was lacking, but he was so busy trying to please both of them he fell off track."