More Than Expected

40

Ri'asia POV

"Zhafir I understand." I watched his mouth as he talked. "I get it."

" i'm just trying to make sure you understand." He expressed. " I love you so much and I never wanna leave you. Like you say the disappearing has to stop and I will definitely look it to that." I punched him playfully and he laughed. "No I am here baby and I will communicate with you better. I am willing to try. I don't want you to ever feel like I am not attracted to you or I don't want to because there is so far from the truth."

" well don't make me feel like it anymore."

" you are the most beautiful person inside and out that I have ever met. I know you are the one that I wanna have a family in a life with for the rest of my life." I smiled as he kissed my nose.

"I also know that I had a lot to do with you distancing yourself. Because I used to do the same thing to Trey. And even though it's hard for me to accept I do have a huge problem and I promise I won't put my hands on you anymore. I really do."

"Okay. So we have to communicate no matter what." I nodded.

" One more question... where the hell were you?" He laughed.

" I was in the hospital with my grandma." I smiled.

"You are cool with your grandma?" He nodded and a big smile spread on his face. "Zha- baby that is so great. I am so happy for you." I hugged him.

"Thank you." He pulled me onto his lap and is straddled him. "I love you."

"I love you." I kissed him and my hands find there up his neck and I grabbed his face.

He broke the kiss.

"Don't you have some where to be going?" I shrugged.

"I wanna be right here." I kissed him roughly and he cupped my ass and slapped it.

"No." He pulled away. "You and you dad need to talk." I sighed and got up.

my dad invited me out to brunch today. Honestly I feel like I've gotten to the place where it is what it is. Our relationship will never be the same. I wouldn't feel comfortable being involved in his business or listening to him vent about my mom. Our relationship will definitely be different.

"What you doing after?"

" I am probably going to come home and get ready with the girls because we have stuff to do today. How about you?"

"I probably go chill with my grandma. You and the girls could probably stop by."

" you and Jada need to really take a DNA test because that may be her grandmom too." He nodded.

" I know we really should but I don't know it's been a lot of shit going on. But we definitely need to do that soon." He walked in the bathroom behind me. "You look so beautiful." He kissed my fore head and then my chin and my nose and his left a lingering kiss on my lips.

"Stop." He laughed.

***

I pulled up to the café and honestly I didn't know what could happen. My dad just showed me that you couldn't trust anybody even your own father to be there when you need them. I just don't understand how it was so easy for him to throw away our relationship. We had each other when we had no one.

I walked in and I saw him sitting by himself. I walked over and sat down quickly because I know he would've got up and tried to hug me and honestly I don't want him to touch me.

"Hey." He spoke softly.

"Wussup?" He turned up his lip.

"You are really starting to act like your man." We laughed softly. " listen I invited you here today because I truly owe you an apology. I should've been there and like you said I should've asked you but it wasn't about asking you I knew you didn't do that shit. I was just looking for someone else to blame. I hate that your mother makes me feel the way I feel and instead of blaming her I thought it would be easier to blame someone else in the situation which happened to be you."

" but that's the thing you know that she isn't going to change and now you're trying to make yourself fit into her world and cause less problems because you don't want her to leave you when you should be the one leaving her. She has nothing that is keeping you here. She doesn't try, she doesn't care, you can't blame anybody but yourself because you made her comfortable like that."

" I know I just feel like I gave her so much of my life. What will I have when she leaves I am old as shit who is really looking for someone my age. I feel fucking trapped and I know I'm not happy and I know I don't want to be there but we have kids and we have a family."

" you are a well established man who provides and who is loving, caring, nurturing all of those things that women want in a man. you have money, morals, Grace, poize. You carry yourself like you wanna be treated. You are very respectable and you are overall an amazing person." He shrugged.

" yet the one woman I love doesn't love me back."

" you have been doing this for almost 30 years. She didn't love you from the beginning and you told me that. You are just dragging yourself through heartbreak and burning bridges with people for someone who you never had a bridge with. You are literally hanging on by a thread. She had a baby on you and she's about to have another baby on you but instead of blaming her you pushed me away and you treated me like crap. I couldn't stop thinking about what I did. Maybe you were mad at me for losing my virginity, getting in a relationship with Trey when he reminded you so much of my mom and you try so hard to prevent that, getting in a relationship with one of your workers, me getting pregnant, me embarrassing you, me embarrassing the family, me failing you." I cried. " I needed you and you weren't there. I don't know what you were mad about and I had to sit in my own mishapnand except that I am just a failure and I disappoint you every time I open my mouth."

" that isn't true. I am so proud of you. You are on your last year of college. You are the first one in our entire family to actually go to college. That alone has me proud beyond measures and the fact that you are finishing... I couldn't be more happy with the person that you turned out to be. None of us are perfect but in my eyes you are my baby and it hurts me so much that I hurt you."

" I would've never in my life thought that you would choose her over me. I still can't believe that this is what we became." I shook my head and wiped my face.

"I am so sorry." He grabbed my hand. "I am really sorry and it will never happen again."