More Than Expected

37

Zhafir POV

I sat in the hospital room with my grandma and I could help but be sad. It took this for us to get back good

—

"Hey baby boy." She smiled as I walked to her bed side.

"Wussup?"

"I missed you." I sighed.

"Why wait to now to reach out or talk to me? I know you may not agree with the way I get my money but it was to help us."

"I know, I just couldn't accept the fact that I let down yet another black boy. I sent you down the same hole that your father went down. I don't know what I did wrong."

" you did nothing wrong at least to me. You made it happen but I didn't just want to make it happen. I didn't want to live check to check. I wanted money and I was greedy and I went out and got what I wanted with no help. This isn't your doing. I got sick of being the broke one or being the less fortunate one or being the dirty one. You took great care of me but life outside your house was totally different. we were struggling financially living off of government assistant I didn't deserve that life and neither did you."

" but it was all so wrong. You were so young and I knew that you chose this life because you felt like you had to and I always took pride in having everything together and it killed me to know that you had to throw your life away to be comfortable." She coughed. " I miss you so much and I couldn't own up to the fact that I ruined your life. I should've been more I should've provided more."

" that is the thing I chose to do this I took it upon myself. I wanted to help us the way that I knew how. I saw people around me getting to the money and I wanted to do it also that's how this all came about it isn't your fault."

"I just don't want you to turn out like your father."

" I would never turn out like my father because I see different for myself. Me and my father is two different men. I love him to death but he is not like me and I am not like him." I grabbed her hand and she nodded softly. " everything I did or everything I do is to better us in our future and it is killing me that there's a possibility that this is the end for us. We could've experience so many things together did so many things together lived a life that we always talked about. You let petty shit get in between us."

"I am so sorry baby but if I make it out of here. I promise everything will be better. We can tried again. We can started over." She smiled and I nodded.

"I would love that."

I was supposed to be in Miami with but now that I got my grandma back I don't wanna waste a second. I have been being very distant from Camille and I know that's not fair but It's like I'm scared if I go away from my grandma for two seconds too long she's gonna be gone. I just got her back and I honestly don't wanna lose her.

"You are right?"

"Yeah, are you? You seem stuck in your head."

" it's just a lot of stuff going on but I don't want to pound my problems-"

"What is going on?"

" well my girlfriend Ri'asia but I call her Camille is pregnant. We have be having turbulence for the past couple of weeks and it seem like it's only getting worse."

" how long have you guys been together."

" Ten months I believe."

" how far along is she?"

"4 months." I sighed. " she is definitely the one. She is gorgeous she is smart and she is funny and she is supportive, nurturing, caring, loving, creative, she brings a certain type of happiness to my life that I needed and I craved. She is definitely the one that I see myself having a future with and having my kids well more of my kids. She would be one of the heads of my family fassure." She laughed.

" I can tell you really love her. The smile on your face, your body language. I know you, I raised you. You love this girl. What has been the turbulence?"

" just small things and then when she gets angry she likes to overstep her boundaries and she gets physical."

" well has she ever been in a abusive relationship before? It could be a trauma response or a fight or flight. Same thing but there's a difference."

" that's the thing I feel like how many times can I show her or tell her that I am not the type to put my hands on her and I feel like she uses that as a advantage as well."

" what happened to her to make her behave that way."

" her ex was very abusive from what I have seen and heard but I don't really know too much about that situation. she doesn't really talk about it is a part of our past."

" well in a sense it makes sense for her to be that way she doesn't know any different. Unless her family or her mom and her dad were different-"

I shook my head.

everybody knows that Lenny be getting his ass whooped.

" well that explains it. This is her first experience where it is different and even though 10 months seems like a lot but 10 months compared to however old she is; is a little bit. It's gonna take her some time to adjust but start demanding a change."

I nodded.

" also answer this." I nodded for her to continue. " if you have a almost five month pregnant girlfriend why have you been here for almost a week straight. You don't want to go lay with your girlfriend and child? Trust me I love your company and it is greatly appreciate it but you have responsibilities outside of me. Is your girlfriend OK with you being here so long? When you leave you leave for about 20 minutes and come right back and that is if you leave and you don't be on the phone with anyone." I sighed.

" I don't know I just feel like you need me right now."

" I am not your only family member that needs you right now. when I am dead and gone they are gonna be all that you have." She stared me in my eyes and I nodded. " do you understand because I need you to really understand what I am saying to you. You treat her right and you treat her good and she will always support you and take care of you. A woman is only going to put up with bull crap for a certain amount of time. Do right by her and she will do right by you while being right beside you." I nodded.

"I understand."

" now go home to your family I am going to be OK I can promise you that I'm already feeling better." She danced and I laughed.

I hopped up and gave her a hug.

"I love you so much baby." She squeezed me.

"I love you to."

Something in me felt like this was a goodbye and I did not want to leave.