More Than Expected

48

Zhafir POV

" I don't care about that shit. I'm not fucking with her and I don't wanna be around her. Who does-"

"Son listen your grandmom is just going through a lot and she is making light out of her situation."

" faking like you died when you are literally dying it's not making light out of a bad situation. She was being an asshole that she was not funny to me. She is willing to do anything to get me to be around that girl like I am not in a relationship."

"She doesn't mean..."

" see I'm trying to be respectful because I know you're all holy now or whatever performance that you wanna put on. But the bitch does mean to do horn. She is going on her way to try to destroy my relationship by setting me up to put me in predicaments that could cause commotion in my home. Tell me if she would've did that prank on you how would you have felt? And don't tell me no fucking bullshit because I'm not trying to hear none of that shit. No WWJD shit, tell me how you will feel?"

" it wasn't right. There is no denying that. It was a very sick and disgusting joke but what I am saying is-"

" what you are saying is some bullshit! I am really trying with you people. I don't understand why you guys can't grasp that concept. I don't need to be here I don't have to be here. I wanted to and now I don't want to now everybody is trying to make it seem like I'm the bad guy. I gave it a try even after she disrespected my girlfriend I was still visiting her and doing what she wanted me to do in which she needed me to do but fuck that. She hasn't changed, sick or not that is some fucked up shit to do. Where we come from playing around with death is not funny."

" and I completely understand. All I am saying is I don't think that she meant to cause as much harm as it did. I don't think she really understood what she was doing."  Camille sat up in the bed and rubbed her eyes.

" just her stooping down to that level and seeing nothing wrong with it shows me that she is the type of person that I want in my life. It is what it is I pray for better wealth and better health but I don't want to be in her life. No matter how much longer she got. So don't try to kick that she's dying bullshit to me."

"You are my son and-"

"Don't start with the bullshit ass confession and speeches." I watched and she got and walked over to me and I pulled her into my arms. 

"It's not but I do-"

"I'll call you later." I hung up.

"Good morning baby."

"Good morning." I kissed her.

***

"Dad this room is so nice." We walked in the room. "I call this room."

" well of course you get the master bedroom in this house. I had it last time." Jayda shrugged. "I really love the way that this house is set up but we have to Count the power sockets and check the water pressure. The tabs and see how Long it takes for the water to go down." She pulled out her phone.

The girls walked off.

"How you been?" Lenny asked.

" i've been good."

" how's your grandma doing?"

" she is doing good but we are back at square one. I don't need her in my life especially if she is going to make me feel how she makes me feel. I feel like I'm that little kid again going through all those mind games. She makes me feel so small and I can't afford it anymore because I worked hard to get where I am and become my own person. I do shit on my own now I get money on my own now I don't need her." He nodded. " it is just me the fuck out 'cause I don't want her to die alone."

"Yeah." I shook the thought out my head.

I felt myself become hot.

"I don't know." I pushed my emotions off.

I don't have time to sit around and continue to be emotional about this lady. I feel like I'm at the point in life where I shouldn't feel anything towards her. How many times is she going to keep putting me through the same thing. It's all mental with her and it makes me feel mentally weak I have work so hard to get where I am mentally.

" if you ever need to talk I am here and you know what you have me you have Antonio, Jayda, Dana, most importantly you have Camille. Everybody else is just a add on. If you choose to stay in contact with her after everything rides over then that is your choice but you have people in your life that solid and that is here for life. None of us is going anywhere. You will always have a home here you will always have love here. It's always been that way and it will always be that way. We love you, we all love you. We see who you are, we see how much you worked to get where you are especially me. You are so different from that 13 year old boy that I first saw. You are so different and it has been amazing to watch you grow. People always hit you mentally when everything else about you is well put together. They see that you are so amazing in striving to do better and I wanna knock you off your feet. That's all it is."

"I know." He patted my chest.

"Well tighten up, you can't let them get to you every time. You have to learn to cry about it and MoveOn. The longer you hold onto those emotions the more mentally exhausting you get. You need to start expressing yourself and communicating how you feel. This wall that you have up or what some call it a nonchalant persona is only going to hurt you at the end of the day. You are physically, financially strong but you are mentally and emotionally week to a certain extent, for specific people. You are vulnerable to people who only have intentions to hurt you that is something that you have to fix. Whether is therapy or finding a safe space you have to fix that within yourself or they will always have power over you. If your mental isn't right everything else is easily damaged. Trust me these are things that I've been learning about myself over the years.