Love No One

Chapter 52

MURDER P.O.V.

Ight ma I'm done! I said climbing down from the ladder.

Owe thanks baby! If your father was here I wouldn't have to worry about this stuff.

It's Ight it's what I'm here for. I said hugging her.

You know I just been so lonely Jax!

Get you a lil friend or find a hobby or something ma.

I don't know I'm to old for a lil friend!

Your not even old you like 45 that's still young!

Thanks for tryin to make me feel good! She laughed going into the kitchen. I followed her into the kitchen and grabbed my soda off the table. "Boy you gaining weight! Stop drinking all that sugar!""That girl be feeding you huh?!"

Yeah I be eating all right! I laughed and she just looked at me. "Nah she do feeding me, she be cooking her ass off! I get breakfast, lunch, and dinner!"

Mmmm! That's good she good for something.

She good for a lot of things. You really would like her if you actually gave her a chance ma. She so sweet and down to earth and humbled. She believes in helping others before herself. She's the most selfless person I know.

What does she do Jaxn?

Well she's a social worker but she owns her own business so like she made this school right for kids with behavioral or leaning problems and shit of all different ages on one side but the other side she houses trouble teenage girls from like 15-21 I think she said. She teaches them how to be independent and all. Most of them are teenage single moms so she also even provides daycare for their children while they work and go to school. Shit dope as hell.

Well that is amazing I've never heard of anything like that....what made her wanna do that?

She been through a lot of shit herself.....life changes people for the better and sometimes people just want better for other people if they can help. Touch a life save a life. I wish I would of had some shit like that when I was growing up. Maybe I wouldn't be so fucked up.!

You are not fucked up and you didn't have a fucked up childhood Jaxn!

How would you know you was never there!

Because I know....

You don't though! You was to busy getting your fuckin ass beat than taken on shopping sprees and shit while your bum ass husband cheated on you. You left me home alone for weeks at a time or with grandma who didn't take care of me who didn't feed me and who tried to pimp me out to her old ass nasty ass friends for a quick fix.

Jaxn!

Where's the lie ma? You let that nigga beat on you to the point you damn near lost your life so many times. You was always in the hospital on yo death bed. That nigga wasn't a father to me! How you let his ass fuck of on you and father 2 other kids and treat them like royalty and while I had to learn to defend for myself selling drugs just to feed myself that's when the nigga wanna change his life around and get cleaned. The day I sold that Nigga some work is the day he stopped being my father honestly. And I tried to hold on to all respect for you but you make that shit hard. And all this judging shit you be tryna be on towards my wife is crazy cause on her worst day as a wife, as a future mother, as a person....she's better than you!

You have no right to fuckin talk to me like that!

And why don't I? You hate hearing the truth and taking some accountability for what you did and the part you played in my life being fucked up. All I'm asking for is next time you go judging somebody aka my wife think about all that shit you done did, been through, and put me through. I ain't never ask you to
Apologize but I am asking you to respect her as my wife and the mother of my child.

You think I wanted life to be like that? You think I thought that was okay? I desperately wanted to get away from everything that we was put through but that drug is the devil and it makes people do crazy shit! So why are you mad that I want better for you! Because I thought she wasn't good enough for you.

You don't know what's good enough for me when you didn't even know what was good enough for your own self. All my life I just wanted to feel loved. And from the moment I met her I knew she'd be the one to feel that void I long for all my life. I did girls shady as fuck because of you. I never thought I'd be the one to ever and I mean ever fall in love or get married or have a child but I am and it feels fuckin amazing. Walking around here being a mean ass rough ass nigga that represents the devil is tiring sometimes you gotta know when to wine down and find a safe space and with her I did. So you or nobody won't ever mess that up! And with that being said I already spent to much time here I gotta get back to her. I grabbed my car keys from the table and walked off.

Jaxn wait! My mother yelled after me. Me and my mom never had a talk like this. She always tried to block that part of her life out and how she fucked me up. She never took accountability for her actions or my fathers.

What ma?

I'm sorry hunny! She said wiping her tears. I hugged her and said it was "okay". I never in my life heard her apologize until now. It actually felt like a million weights was lifted from my shoulders.

I forgave you a long time ago! I said in all honesty.