The Vampire Diaries Imagines 2

163 » kai

there's a bit of depressing thoughts and attitude so don't read or read with caution if you feel the need to !!

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Imagine being afraid of being replaced and Kai comforting you when he finds out // Based on Afraid by The Neighbourhood

 "When I wake up I'm afraid,
somebody else might take my place."

 Dealing with anxiety and worrying about everything was exhausting. Spending your days by shaking, crying and being scared of being replaced by your boyfriend and friends, it terrified and tired you to the point where you just wanted to throw everything away and end the misery you were in. Starting from the moment you wake up, to the very second you fall asleep, you were afraid. Even in your dreams, you were anxious, distressed and utterly scared of life.

 You were in a lovely relationship with Kai Parker, but you feared that he'd leave you. There was no good reason why he'd leave you, but you still felt like someone would eventually replace you, like Kai would just walk out of your life and never return. Because there was someone better, there always was. It was the first thing you thought about in the morning when you woke up - "Great, maybe today, someone will take my place, replace me, love Kai more than I do, and be better for him than I am."

 It was a feeling you couldn't run from. It followed you wherever you went, whatever you did, whoever you were with. A nagging feeling in your heart, telling you that maybe right at this very moment, Kai was with someone prettier, someone greater. You hated it, but you couldn't help it. And you didn't want to tell anyone either, you were afraid of how they'd react, so you just lived in the anxiety all alone without anyone helping, without anyone reaching out for you.

 It was daily for you. When you woke up, and went in the kitchen where you found Kai making breakfast for you, you wondered if he'd ever do it for someone else. You'd kiss him, and think about all the other girls he'd show that love to. You'd hug and say your goodbyes before going your own ways for the day, and all you could contemplate was if it would a final goodbye, the last words from him to you and from you to him.

 And god, you hated it with a burning passion.

 "All my friends always lie to me
I know they're thinking
You're too mean, I don't
like you, fuck you anyway."

 Kai, as the oh so evil villain, had his own matters to attend to and you had decided to spend the day with Caroline, who you loved with all your heart, especially after she had asked you to arrange an event for Mystic Falls High and its students. You knew that to her, events and parties were a big deal and she didn't ask for just anyone to help her - now it just so happened to you which meant you were special and you loved being reminded of it. Because almost always, you felt like you weren't special at all, that you were replaceable.

 And it was like that with your friends too. Even though you loved Caroline and she loved you back, you were concerned that she really hated you and just hoped for you to stop hanging around with her. Maybe, her thoughts were poisoned with hatred towards you and maybe, each day she woke up wishing she could avoid you, not see and be with you. It scared you, but you still went to the school where you met her, both of you smiling and going for a tight hug.

 "Y/N, I'm so happy you came!", Caroline said cheerfully, and you nodded, while thinking how that must have been a lie. You tried to smile, and she was so busy with the party arrangements, she didn't even notice your fake happiness and attempts to seem cool. You were glad she was buying it, because you definitely didn't want to irritate her. Not more than you already did by even being there, anyway.

 You and Caroline started to decorate the place, and listened to some music while working on everything necessary. It was lovely, spending some with her, but inevitably your thoughts won and you felt like you weren't needed. After some hours, you got enough of it, all the voices and thoughts in your head and you had to let go and leave.