Shawn Mendes Imagines !!

Just A Motherhood Dream

a/n: this is for kaliyearwood !! thank you for the request & I hope you love it!

"Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have kids? Together?" Shawn asked innocently, playing with my fingers before holding my hand in his. All snuggled up on the back porch of his parents' house, watching the beautiful summer sunset that was painting the sky with the most gorgeous colors, nothing could be more perfect.

Except, my boyfriend's question sent waves of shock through my body and my voice was silenced for more reasons than one but I simply nodded in response. Of course I've thought about starting a family with Shawn. More often than I'd like to admit. But it was more complicated than just dreaming about little curly headed children with dimpled smiles that were the product of your love for each other and living the life I've always wanted.

"They could run around in our backyard and we'd give them endless amounts of kisses and cuddles. I'd sing them to sleep or you'd read your favorite stories to them and we would dance with them while making breakfast in our pajamas on Sunday mornings. And then there's all the first holidays, like Halloween, Christmas and their birthday." Shawn smiled dreamily as he rambled on, getting lost in his own thoughts.

My heart was shattering into a million pieces as each word fell of his lips and tears were already clouding my vision. Our relationship was still fairly new, just nearing the year mark but I knew the moment I met Shawn, he was the man I wanted to marry. And even though the topic of marriage has come up several times, I couldn't ever say the sentence that would crush one of his biggest dreams.

And even now, while listening to Shawn talk about the amazing future that he has created in his mind, a stab of pain hit my heart at the realization of breaking the news to him.

"If we have a girl, maybe she'll take dance classes and we would go to all her recitals with bouquets of flowers and just be immensely proud of her. And if we have a boy, I'd love to teach him how to skate like my dad did with me and maybe he'd pick up hockey. Or one of them might get my love of music but I really hope they get almost everything else from you." Shawn continued, brushing my hair behind my ear and then pressing a warm kiss to my temple.

Somehow finding words and trying to keep my voice steady despite the wave of emotions rising in my chest, I finally spoke up as I cuddled closer to Shawn. "There's nothing more I want than all of that with you." The admittance slipped past my lips and even though my heart was full of love from Shawn's adorable rambling about a family together, I couldn't help the sadness that came with it.

"Be a dream come true." he mumbled lovingly, his gaze meeting mine and immediately softening when he noticed the tears in my eyes after gently lifting my chin up with two fingers.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Shawn asked quietly, his large hands cradling my cheeks as he wiped away the freely flowing tears away with his thumbs.

Trying to stifle my sobs, I searched for the right words but no matter how I said it, Shawn's heart would still be broken. My breathing became uneven as my cries floated through the air.

"Come 'ere, sweetheart. It's okay. I got you, always." Shawn cooed, his voice full of nothing but love and adoration as he wrapped his arms around my body and held me tightly. Instantly, I relaxed against his body, my head resting against his chest as my tears continued rolling down my cheeks. Shawn's arms are home and always make me feel safe so even though it seemed like the world was crashing down around me, his touch and comforting words helped calm the anxiety raging in my mind.

"You don't have to talk about whatever it is that's making you upset but when you are, I'm right here okay?" Shawn whispered, rubbing one hand up and down my back as his other ran through my hair. I nodded against his chest, gathering every ounce of courage in my body. "Shhh, it's okay. I'm here, darling." His deep voice was full of concern and love as he tried to figure out what had triggered my sudden burst of cries.