Shawn Mendes Imagines !!

I Can't Lose You

Shawn's POV

The haunting silence filled every nook and cranny of the condo, the heavy rain outside the only audible noise seeping through the walls. An empty mug sat on the coffee table next to a picture from our vacation in Mexico on the coffee table, a bleak reminder of happiness. The memory of what had happened moments ago, replayed through my mind nonstop. The rattling noise of the front door as Y/N slammed it behind her, leaving me with one last glance of her. My words. The stupid, hurtful words I said not meaning any of it but my emotions got the better of me. Tears rolling down her cheeks as her eyes pleaded for all of this stop causing tears to prick at the corners of my eyes. I hated seeing her hurt and here I was, responsible for hurting her.

Every single moment of the last four years played in my mind. A small, sad smile played at my lips when I thought about certain memories with Y/N. These last four years have been the best time of my life and it was all because of her. Somehow, I got lucky enough to love her everyday and I managed to screw up everything. Dropping my head into my hands, a fresh wave of sadness washed over my body as all the words from the fight flooded my mind. Tears stung my eyes as they slowing fell down my cheeks. I can't believe I did this.

Suddenly, the piercing noise of the familiar ringtone of a phone call split the silence in half. Frustratingly, I ran my hands through my messy curls before reaching over for my phone to see who was calling. As soon as I read the caller ID, my heart dropped. It was Camila which meant only one thing, Y/N was with her. A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I accepted the call, placing the phone by my ear. "Hey Camila,"

"Shawn!" Camila whispered harshly. "I'm not even supposed to be calling you because I'm a good friend but I don't know what to do. She's never been so upset. She just showed up at my doorstep like half an hour ago, her eyes already puffy from crying so much and just collapsed into my arms exhausted." Camila hurriedly explained, her voice low but angry. My vision clouded over with new tears as I processed Camila's words. Sniffling a little before I answered, I tried pulling myself together before speaking again.

"I'm so stupid Camila. Everything I said wasn't even true and as soon as the words left my mouth, I immediately regretted it. My emotions got the best of me and I wasn't thinking straight. I love her so freakin' much it's unbelievable and-" a sob stifled my words for a moment at the thought that just crossed my mind. "I can't lose her. I'd be a complete mess without her in my life. I mean look at me now. She makes my heart swell with happiness and every moment I've spent with her has been the best time of my life. There's nothing in this entire world that can make me feel his Y/N makes me feel. She's the love of my life. I just- I wished this whole night didn't happen. I screwed up really bad and I regret everything I did. I love her beyond words." My sobs raked through my body at full strength now, hot tears escaping my eyes as I spoke to Camila through the phone.

"Shawn, you have to tell her all of this. I can drive her home. We'll be there in about forty minutes, okay?" Camila said quietly, her voice immediately softening after hearing everything I admitted. I nodded quickly before realizing Camila couldn't see me.

"Okay. Thank you," I hiccuped through my cries as Camila said goodbye before hanging up, the empty silence filling the condo again. Wiping the tears that stained my cheek away, I rose from the couch and headed into the kitchen, a trail of snuggles following me. Placing the kettle on the stove, I waited patiently for the water to boil, trying to distract myself from how slow time was passing and the aching pain in my heart. Leaning against the counter, I took a deep breath hoping to stop the tears just as the keetle whistled, signaling the water was ready. Carefully pouring the steaming hot water into my favorite mug, one Y/N had gotten me last year, I dropped a tea bag in and checked my phone. Expecting an empty screen, a strike of shock washed over my face for a moment when I saw Aaliyah.