Shawn Mendes Imagines !!

Doubts & Drama

The front door slammed behind me as I trudged through the condo, dropping my purse and everything else in my hands on the smooth kitchen counter. My keys jingled happily as I frustratingly put them on their hook next to Shawn's which signified he was home. Great. I could feel the tears pooling in the corner of my eyes as I rummaged through my purse to find my phone. Five unopened texts from Shawn stared up at me, the words blurry through my tears. The bright sun filtered in through the large windows and Toronto's skyline twinkled happily in the golden light. Shaking my head, I started up the staircase, hoping Shawn was down in the studio and I could just bury all my thoughts under the warm blankets with me.

My mind was racing as I slowly climbed each carpeted step, my eyes clouded with tears that began trailing down my cheeks. Everything seemed to spin around me and only one thought chanted through my mind. "He doesn't love you. You aren't good enough." If I had just stayed off of Twitter this morning, today would've been a completely different day. But when the news about Shawn attending the Met Gala with Hailey hit my timeline, my anxiety took over, spinning the situation into something I knew it wasn't. But I believed it. Weeks ago, Shawn told me his management team would be announcing who he would be attending with and he was doing every possible thing in his power to go with me.

"There's no one else in this world I'd rather go with. I can only hope they know that," Shawn held my hands and had reassured me that day when he sparked the conversation up. But when boredom took over at work today and Twitter informed me his management team decided he would be attending with Hailey instead of me. And suddenly, I was doubting everything about our four year relationship like this was the beginning of the end. My heart ached at the thought of losing Shawn but nothing could stop the relentless thoughts of doubt that swirled through my head anxiously.

Finally making it up the stairs, I walked down the hallway glumly, my tears now flowing freely as my breathing became uneven. Coming face to face with our bedroom door, I placed my hand on the cool doorknob and pushed the door open. The bed was still freshly made and the sunlight was illuminating the room beautifully here too. My body was lured to the warm blankets as sadness consumed my whole body but as I stepped into the room, I noticed the familiar tall figure of my boyfriend looking out the window on his side of the bed. His hands were running furiously though his curls something he only did when he was angry. A small sigh left my lips as I sniffled, trying to hide my tears even though I knew it was impossible and Shawn would instantly know something was wrong.

Noticing my presence in the room, Shawn turned around his teeth sunk into his bottom lip and immediately took every detail of me in, his face softening. Crossing the room in four long strides, Shawn stood in front of me in seconds as I felt a fresh wave of new tears prick at my eyes. Shawn didn't speak, he just cupped my face in his soft hands and I noticed his beautiful hazel eyes were filled with deep concern and worry. My heart wanted him as my body slowly melted into his before the haunting thought returned to my mind. "No, Shawn. Don't." I choked out between sobs.

"Babygirl, I know. I'm so sorry. Just let me-" Shawn spoke softly with a frown knowing exactly what I was upset about and watched as I pulled away from him to sit on the bed. The comfortable blankets welcomed me as I sunk into the soft bed, my vision blurry with tears. Silence settled over the bedroom, the only noise were my soft sobs and sniffles and Shawn slowly sat down next to me. "Talk to me. Please." Shawn begged, his voice waivering as if at any moment, he would break down. I shook my head furiously, my hair falling around my shoulders with each movement.

"I- I can't," I stuttered, quickly wiping tears away and getting a good look at Shawn for the first time since I walked in the room. He didn't style his hair this morning so his brown curls were perfectly messy and a few stray strands fell over his forehead. His hazel eyes were clouded with worry and a small frown sat on his pink lips as he watched my face. His cheeks were rosy, filled with the light pink blush that always adorned the smooth skin of his cheeks. Dressed in his usual black skinny jeans, Shawn had topped his outfit off with a tshirt and a jean jacket, a look I loved on him. Shawn carefully placed one of his large hands on my thigh and began rubbing small circles through my jeans.