My fiance, Shawn Mendes, always calls or texts before he heads home from the studio. It is currently midnight and he still hasn't called, causing my anxiety to act up. Is he okay? Is something wrong? Is he mad at me for some reason and that's why he's not calling or texting me? I tried to call him but he didn't answer. I looked at my sparkly engagement ring and took a deep breath. Soon, the door opened and Shawn walked in.
"Hi baby girl. What are you still doing up?" Shawn asked as he made his way over to the couch, where I was sitting.
"Hi. I was waiting for you. I tried calling you but you didn't answer." I said. He pulled out his phone.
"I must have forgotten to take it off silent. Sorry babe. I have to work on some lyrics but you must be tired, so I want you to go to bed." He said. I gave him a fake smile.
"Okay." I said.
"Are you okay?" He asked. I wasn't going to tell him that him coming home late triggered my anxiety. I smiled at him again and kissed his cute nose.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I said.
"I don't believe you." He said.
"I'm just tired. I'll go up to bed." I said, and went upstairs. Shawn followed me, but took a right so he could go into his office rather than a left and into our bedroom. I shut the door a little and got into bed. How am I supposed to fall asleep without him, especially with my anxiety acting up? I tried to fall asleep, but it was to no avail. After an hour, I got up and padded my feet down the hall and into Shawn's office. He looked up at me and smiled.
"Hi honey. Can't sleep?" He asked.
"Nope. Not a wink." I said as I put my arms around him from behind. He went back to his work and then kissed my arms.
"I'll be in bed in a little bit and then I'll hold you, just give me a little bit, okay?" He asked. I nodded.
"Okay. I love you." I said. He looked up at me again and smiled before giving me a sweet and gentle kiss.
"I love you too, my dear." He said. I went back into the bedroom and tried to fall asleep again. Half an hour went by without Shawn, then another half hour, only causing my anxiety to get worse. I started to rock back and forth, which can sometimes help ease my anxiety, other times, not so much.
"Ugh." I said, groaning. Shawn soon ran into the room and over to me.
"Darling? What's wrong?" He asked.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Go back to work, I'll try to fall asleep." I said, feeling bad.
"No, what's wrong?" He asked again. I started to cry.
"I'm anxious." I said.
"Oh honey, how long have you been anxious for?" He asked. I shook my head no. "Honey, I need you to tell me or else I can't help you." He said.
"Since before you came home." I whispered.
"What?" He asked.
"Since before you came home." I said a little louder. His eyes widened and he hugged me.
"Why didn't you tell me Y/n?" Shawn asked.
"I didn't want to bother you or be a burden." I said.
"Y/n, you are not a burden, and you do not bother me. Ever. You should've told me sweetheart." He said.
"I'm sorry." I said.
"It's okay, just tell me next time. Do you know what triggered it?" He asked. I hesitantly nodded my head. "What was it?" He asked.
"I couldn't reach you and I was worried that something happened to you or that you were mad at me or something." I said. He hugged me again.
"Oh darling, I'm so sorry. I forgot to call like I always do and then once I remembered, I was already driving and I didn't want to get distracted." He said. I nodded.
"Okay. Do you still have more stuff to work on?" I said and asked. He nodded.
"I do but it can wait until morning. You're more important than anything else in my life." Shawn said. Him saying that caused me to smile but then I frowned.
"No honey, go work, I'll just stay up with you. It's the weekend, I don't have work tomorrow." I said. He shook his head and climbed into bed.
"No. I want to be with you." He said.
"And we will be together. I'll just sit in the extra chair in your office." I said. He thought for a moment.
"Are you sure?" He asked. I nodded.
"I'm positive. My anxiety is almost gone." I said. He smiled at me, got out of bed, came around to my side, and took my hand as I got out of bed. I felt sparks shoot through me as we touched, but I also felt safe and warm in his touch. "Shawn?" I asked.
"Yes baby?" He asked as he stopped walking and turned to me.
"Can I have a hug?" I asked. Shawn chuckled.
"Love, you never have to ask." Shawn said. I put my arms around his torso and, as he put his arms around my shoulders, I was home. His arms are my home, my safe place, my safe space. He swayed me side to side as we hugged and I smiled. Shawn kissed the top of my head. "I love you darling." He said.
"I love you too. Come on, let's get you working." I said as I patted his back. He smiled at me and we sat down in his office. As much as I love him, sitting in silence can be boring. I picked up his guitar and tried to play it. I frowned when I couldn't immediately get the hang of it. Shawn looked at me.
"Do you want me to teach you how to play Y/n?" Shawn asked. I thought for a moment.
"Maybe another time." I said. Shawn nodded.
"Actually can I see the guitar for a second please?" He asked. I handed it to him and he started to strum and sing. His voice made my anxiety go away completely and I soon fell asleep because I was so relaxed. I suddenly felt a pair of arms lift me up.
"Huh? Did I fall asleep?" I asked Shawn as he carried me to bed.
"Yup. Time for bed for the both of us love." Shawn said. We got into bed and I laid my head on his chest.
"I love you Shawn. Thank you for helping my anxiety calm down." I said. Shawn kissed the top of my head again.
"I love you too Y/n. You're welcome hun, I would move mountains for you." Shawn said. He started to sing me to sleep, and I soon fell into a deep slumber. I'm so grateful for Shawn and for all of the ways that he helps me.