DC One Shot And Imagines I

Harley Quinn- House (a)

"After selling that big ol' rock, you have to be able to afford something a bit more... luxurious than this?" The paint scratched door to Harley's new home barely shut until you rammed it with your shoulder and wrestled the chain over and onto it's hook. "Even with half of that diamond you could have got yourself a nice apartment, not quite penthouse but definitely better than this shit hole."

Harley threw herself over the stained, ripped sofa and disappeared into a coarse cloud of dust as she landed.

"This is perfect, I don't need some fancy schmancy apartment." Once the dust had settled and after a few coughs and sneezes she called Bruce onto her lap. "It isn't like somebodies gonna try breaking in. I'm Harley freaking Quinn, I have some serious street cred don't you know? Plus, Bruce over here is just looking for an excuse to rip somebodies dick off." You could have sworn you saw her pink collared hyena lick his lips menacingly at the very thought of it.

"The door's barely on, most of the panels are missing from the floor and I could swear I've seen more roaches than I care to count. You can do better than this." She pushed her face into Bruce's and ruffled behind his ears as you tried your best not to touch any surface or step on a used hypodermic needle. "I don't even know how they could put this place up for sale. Surely they should have at least made it livable first."

"Well you see sugar, this is what's so... FANTASTIC about this place. Guess how much it cost me?"

"I don't know, to be honest I would have thought they would have paid you to take the lawsuit off their hands."

"Haha, very funny. No. Actually, I brought it straight from it's previous owners, no real estate government bullshit needed. And all it cost me, was a weeks' worth of dirty panties."

"What?!?" She laughed as Bruce ran off down the cluttered hall.

"Yeah, turns out he was some massive perv. He offered to take the porno stash from the basement but I told him not to worry, I'll sort through it and toss what I don't want." She excitedly into the awkward silence. "To be honest I think it was a good deal. In seven days I only changed them on the Wednesday anyway. Like I said, I'm Harley freaking Quinn. I might sell my shorts and buy myself a nice hatchback."

~*~

Written by Aaron.