Bhaiyya I don't want wheel chair. I can walk " told Sreedhar. It was around 4pm in the evening and he was getting discharged. Sreedhar was still limping and Suman could see still he had a lot of ache when he tried to speak or move. Sudhir and Suman were there with him.
" Sreedhar doctor has told you only good to go home. Still you need good rest and should not be straining much. Medicine is there and Maa have asked Vaidyaji to come and give you a hot massage for one week in the morning and evening "
" Bhaiyya now have to tolerate that hot towel bath. It is painful. One side I was thinking Khichdi is over, today dinner I will get something better and here you say Vaidyaji is coming"
" Sreedhar heroism has its own side effects. So now just listen and do what is told" told Sudhir
" Can you talk less Sreedhar" told Suman. By that time a nurse with wheel chair came. They reached the entrance of the hospital where the chaufeer was waiting with the car.
Sudhir got in front and helped Sreedhar in the back. Suman got from other side. Ride home was silent as Sreedhar and Suman stared at each other talking in a language they understood.
When they reached home Maheswari was waiting with Aarti ki thali. Suman and Sudhir stepped back pushing Sreedhar to front. Maheswari took his aarti, put a tilak and also put a kala teeka telling let no black eye fall on him. Then he was asked to enter. Since he was limping it took some time for Sreedhar and at that time Suman moved ahead from his left side. Net effect they kept their right leg almost together in the house with she slightly in front. Suman stood with one leg still behind, not sure whether she did some mistake in hurry.
"Suman don't wait for him, just come in. It will take time for him as he is limping " told Renuka. Suman recovered and entered with him just lagging behind her. Sudhir came last. As they all entered Maheswari told " Suman your parents are coming tomorrow to pay a visit". Suman for a second looked shocked. Then she composed herself. " Okay Maa". Maheswari noticed the rigidity Suman suddenly had. She wondered what is that the girl was hiding. Why is that she is so detached from her maayka. Why death is ok for her than going to her maayka. What had happened to her there. But she knew whatever it was Suman never showed anything of it in their house. She moved around as told. But Maheswari didn't believe this was the true Suman. The way she teached dance, the way she did the embroidery,the way she came running to the hall pushing Sreedhar away and the way she stood in that community meeting had told Maheswari Suman is something else. A girl of great grit and confidence. She wished to see that girl everytime, not when she is engrossed in something dear to her and remain almost a robot rest of the time.
Sreedhar looked at Suman as she went up and he moved to his room. He could see her hand shivering as she held the rail. He knew what was going through her mind. The physical and emotional pain her father had inflicted on her and her fear of meeting him.
Suman reached the room, closed it and sat shivering on the bed " Why was her father coming" she remembered the slaps. Then she remembered the hot tawa that was kept on her mother's stomach to make her agree to the marriage. It was after that she did the suicide attempt. Once she regained consciousness after that, to dissuade her from anything more of that sort once again the hot tawa was placed on her feet and also on her mother's stomach even before the wound of previous burn has healed. She lifted her saree. Both her feet had burn marks. Now she was not sure what he wanted and how was mother. Would he have done anything more cruel to her, seeing her saving Sreedhar telling she had gone against tradition. She sat shivering again before Namrata came and asked her to teach dance.
Sreedhar was waiting for night. Waiting for her to bring dinner. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to assure her not to be afraid. It was around 8:30 when she came with dinner for him.
" Sreedhar look you have rice, dal tadka, potato sabji and papad. I prepared everything for you. Have it before it goes cold" she was trying to be happy, but her eyes held the fear
" Sumi you had dinner " he asked.
" No I will have with Renuka Bhabi. You have it"
He took rice and dal in the spoon, held to her. " Have it Sumi. You were giving me food for almost 4 days. Today eat one spoon from my hand"
She looked at him, her eyes teary. He requested her with his eyes. She took the food. He smiled as he began eating.
" Sumi will you answer my questions today" he asked
" What questions" she looked at him apprehensively
" Tell me will you answer "
" Do I have an option Sreedhar. But I also have one condition. Whatever painful answer I have to give to your question you wont stop eating food, you wont curse yourself. You have to accept it as it is "
He nodded in affirmation. " Sumi it is the past I want to ask you and I will accept the painful past for whatever it is. Because I cannot change it. I just want to know it so that our present and future is not affected "
She looked at him for the question " Sumi did you try a suicide attempt while you were coming after the marriage. Is that why you were on the side seat "
" Yes Sreedhar it was a suicide attempt. I wanted to open the door of the speeding car so that I fall in such a way that I die or even if I survive I will be in no good position to have a married life. I had chosen that sharp bend to open the door so that chances of survival are less. Then when I opened and the lorry slamming the car I guess was almost together because as I fell on the road I blacked out" she told calmly
" Sumi was suicide your only option. That too second time. Couldn't you have tried to talk to someone"
" Whom to talk Sreedhar. When I tried to escape from home my mother was tortured in front of my eyes. Then I agreed for the marriage and did suicide attempt. Do you know what my father did when I got consciousness" she lifted her saree and showed her feet. Sreedhar saw dark burn marks in both her feet. His heart was bleeding. How much she had suffered.
" My father kept the hot tawa 2-3 times on both my feet and then on my mom's stomach till I told I will not do any mischief till marriage. Even after that I was given injections to keep me in a semi sedate state. Sreedhar after such a raw treatment at one's own home, does a girl expects anything better in her sasural. The marriage had happened. Whether I was aware or not was secondary. But the man who married me was aware and to people only that mattered. I know Sreedhar I am talking about your late brother. But look from my perspective. What do I know about him. As far as I was concerned a man had got a right on my body and the moment he gets me alone during something called Suhaag raat will tear me apart like a animal that has got its food. I am supposed to show nothing about it, wear solah sringaar and get subjected to his horror day in day out. Bear children that too if female who knows they will be killed in the womb. I didn't wanted it. I didn't want to trade my body to someone when my mind and soul belonged to someone else. I wanted to end it all" she sighed.
" Sumi you wanted to end it all. Then why are you afraid now of your father coming. What you will lose " asked Sreedhar.
" You " she told " You Sreedhar. I had accepted my fate. This white dress. In a way it was victory for me. Irrespective of whatever people said it was the winning of my rage and fire inside me. Defeating the tradition that has forced me to live a life which is not my choice. The person with whom that life was forced died, but I survived. Survived showing the society always its command doesn't work.But you came in my life again. I could take the pain on me, but then because of me now the pain is on you. Eyes are on you. Danger is on you. I don't have it in to see you in pain. I don't have it in me to lose you.
" Who told you will lose Sumi. Yes some mistakes happened from our side. But Sumi somehow destiny has bought us together once again. We will cross the hurdles together Sumi. Please don't be afraid. This time we wont allow any tradition to win against us. Please Sumi. Don't be afraid. Fear doesn't help"
She looked into his eyes. They had deep pain, but also determination. Determination to fight it out for her. She felt calm. A serenity filled her mind and soul. She smiled at him. As promised he had finished the food. He once again assured her with his eyes asking her to be strong as she took the plates and walked from his room.