Bad Desire: New Beginnings - Fast Forward

Chapter 29

The first night with Phoebe had been extremely tough. She had been full of excitement the moment they arrived home but the moment she had to go to bed was when the problems arose.

Both Sophie and Aaron knew it wasn't all going to come with ease; there would be good and bad days. However, the fact that it was their first made them panic that little bit more as they wanted to ensure they did everything right.

She had woken up crying, as she was terrified the moment she had been left alone. It was a brand new house and a brand new room so the moment she had been parted from Aaron and Sophie's attention it hit her.

It meant their night would have been extremely long and sleepless if they had have left things how they were. Therefore, instead, they had brought her into their own room and she'd spent the night in their bed instead.

"What are you doing awake?" Aaron mumbled as he squinted his eyes from the light that was streaming through their curtains.

It was around 5am and Sophie lay there looking as though she had not yet even had a single wink of sleep.

Turning her head to look at him, she let a small smile reach her lips.

"I can't sleep..." Sophie began before glimpsing her eyes down to Phoebe who was sound asleep, cuddled up between them.

Wrapping her arms around the little girl, she then pulled her closer into her body and pressed her lips to her head.

"I wanted to make sure she was okay."

After hearing her screaming cries of fear due to the unknown of this situation, it had broken Sophie's heart. She knew things were going to be rocky to begin with and she had prepared herself for that but she was learning that it wasn't that simple.

She had always been so strong, with very little bothering her but ever since Phoebe she had somehow found a soft spot. She felt as though it was her job to protect Phoebe through absolutely everything. She never wanted the two year old experiencing any more of the pain she previously went through. However, what she wasn't accepting was that she was going to get upset sometimes and that didn't mean they were doing a bad job. She couldn't keep her from all the hurt in the world because that was unrealistic but she was most definitely trying to do that right now.

"Babe." Aaron spoke slowly as he was still waking up. "She's okay. You need to get some sleep."

Reaching over he took Sophie's hand in his before taking it to his lips. He could see the concern over her face and it was strange for him to see. In every aspect of her life, Sophie liked to have control and on the most part she did however, this was something she couldn't fully control and it was killing her.

"She might wake up. I just want to be there in case she does."

"You're going to be exhausted if you do that."

Aaron's persistence with her was not going to work. She was adamant on her decision and had no plans of sleeping tonight.

As much as no one would have expected Sophie to be the one to jump into motherhood worry so easily and expecting Aaron to be the softer of the two, it had been proved wrong. Aaron was taking a much more relaxed approach and didn't hold the same concerns as she did.

He knew they had provided her with a better life here so whether or not she had problems sleeping, she would always be happier than she ever had been. But Sophie had trouble getting her head around that idea. She had always been a perfectionist so that made her worry that bit more intense.

"I don't have work or anything. It's not like I have anything to get up for, so I'll be okay." Sophie insisted as her hand entwined with his.

"When are you going to go back to work?" Aaron then went onto ask.

Realising Sophie was not going to listen to him and get some sleep; he thought he may as well give her some company. So pushing himself up into a sitting positioning, he looked over at her.

They hadn't yet discussed their plans of how things were going to work. They knew Phoebe would need both of them by her side for a while so she could settle in and fully understand the concept of family life. She had understood the concept of Sophie and Aaron being her parents but with so many carers at her previous orphanage home, it was so easy for an adopted child to lose that.

Therefore, they knew it was important for them to build that relationship and trust first before they even considered getting back into normal life.

"I don't know... I originally planned as soon as possible but now I don't know how I feel about that."

Sophie had always had a plan in her head that if she ever had children, she would take no more than a few weeks to a month off work. She refused to accept the idea of maternity leave and had always insisted that whomever she ended up having a child with, could take it.

She was so career focused that she hoped to meet a father who would be okay with taking that time off instead. She never understood why it was so easily given to the mother but the dad had to fight that little bit harder to get it.

However, now she was in the position with this little girl that she loved more than anything, her mind set had changed. She wasn't sure if she could bear ever going back to work and leaving her side.

She knew she would go back eventually, she knew she wouldn't feel the need to wrap her up in cotton wool forever but until she knew Phoebe was happy in their home, the thought of leaving her didn't sit right.

"Well I have an idea, you can tell me no but just hear me out." Aaron then perked up after he had been thinking about it for some time.

Nodding her head, Sophie awaited on what he was about to say.

"We both take this first month off together while she settles in. Then I'll go back to work in July and you can work from home? Then come August I'm sure you'll be going crazy and want to get back to bossing everyone around in London so I'll take August off. Then we can handle the rest as it arrives."

Aaron knew Sophie would only be able to go so long without getting back into work, even if it was just from home. She liked to be in charge and it was killing her knowing she had left someone else to do her job for the month. Therefore, in his eyes the plan worked out fine.

"Yeah, that sounds perfect." Sophie grinned at him. "But I do not love bossing people around."

Aaron pulled an unbelieving face before he began to laugh.

"I just like to be in control..." She corrected with a challenging expression.

"Because you know you can do the job better." Aaron finished off for her.

"Exactly." Sophie nodded before sticking her tongue out at him just as he lay back against the covers.

He didn't know how she had managed to stay up all night because he felt completely exhausted but it was clear this girl had experienced plenty of training due to her work hours.

"Seriously though, you need to sleep Soph."

Moving her attention from Aaron to Phoebe, Sophie ran a hand delicately across her face and brushed the hair away. She was sound asleep in her arms at this point and her lips were still curved into that smile that seemed pretty much permanent at this point.

As much as she could see that Phoebe did finally look at peace, she couldn't bring herself to risk it.

"I'll just wait another hour, just in case." Sophie tried to convince Aaron before placing a kiss to Phoebe's head.

Chuckling, Aaron reached over to cup Sophie's face in his hand.

"It's crazy because I am even more fucking attracted to you as a mum and I never thought that was possible."

Leaning her head further into Aaron's hand Sophie smiled.

"Really?"

Nodding his head, Aaron guided her face closer to his.

"Jack was right. Nothing in the world beats this." He continued, as he looked down to Phoebe asleep between them before looking up into Sophie's eyes.

"I love you." She whispered before closing the gap between them and pressing her lips to his.

💜