Dawsey: Starting a Family Part 2

Chapter 239

Matt's POV: When Gabby asked me whether it was okay to cry even though we just agreed that it was going to be easier on us, I went to grab her hand and intertwined our fingers. "Gabby, of course it's okay to cry. You just went through something that is so sad and just not fair. Babe, we lost a child...it's normal to be sad and want to cry. Heck, I want to cry too babe. This wasn't just a baby to us...it was our child. We had a name, we heard the heartbeat and we had clothes ready for him. And worst of all, it happened at the worst time possible. We are grieving Boden and Andy." Gabby nodded when I said that and just put her hand on mine. "We staying down here?"

I looked at her and sighed. "I am going to relax with you wherever you want me to relax with you. If you want to lay down in bed as we grieve, we can do that. I just want you to be comfortable, relaxed and safe. In fact, that's all I want for you for the rest of the pregnancy. Whatever I can do to make you feel safe, comfortable and relaxed...I am going to do. Plus, if you are in our room...it might be easier on me when I have to do something." Gabby then looked at me when I said that. "What do you have to do?" I then sighed and looked at her. "I need to go through all of the clothes and get rid of one boy outfit." Gabby sighed when I said that.

"Keep them. We can use them as spares. Who knows...maybe one of them will get dirty, break or get lost. At least them, we have a spare." I nodded when she said that. "I am still going to put them somewhere else. You shouldn't have to look at multiples of three outfits every time you go change our kids. Or I mean, when we have to change our kids. It'll be just as hard on me." Gabby nodded when I said that. "You have wanted kids your whole life. I feel like I failed you." I shook my head when she said that and then went to kiss her softly. "You of all people have not failed me. You could never fail me. You are my wife and we are in this together okay?" Gabby nodded and agreed with me when I said that...but I knew that it was still hard for her to believe it."

Gabby then sighed when I said that and just looked at me. "Do you mind if we just stay in bed today? We can put our PJs on and we can hold each other. I know you are dressed but..." I then nodded before going to kiss her again. "Gabby, take a breath and remember what I said. I am here for you and I am going to do whatever you need me to do so that you feel better. Yes, would I love to take time off and be with you as long as I possibly can? Of course. But, I can't. So please come with me to work and surround yourself with our friends as we grieve this loss. I am sure that Hermann can help you through this again just like he did last time. In fact, I think I still have the video if you want to watch it." Gabby thought about it and nodded. "I think I need to."

I nodded and agreed with her when she said that. "Then listen, here's what we're going to do...we are going to finish eating and then we are going to head upstairs so that we can relax in bed. I am going to find that video for you and then we can going to watch it while I hold you in my arms. I will change into my sweats and we won't move for the rest of the day." Gabby nodded when I said that, ready to do just that as we prepare to spend the day grieving the child we lost.