Spoby one shots

Gone

Spencer's POV:

I sit in the hospital bed in tears. My life is over.

It was only a few hours ago that Toby and I were picking out clothes for our little one and choosing wood for the homemade crib he was making her.

But that's all over, and she's gone.

I had a miscarriage. The doctors said that it could of happened to anyone, and I feel sorry for anyone who has to go through this.

"Okay Spencer, you have to push. We need to get her out so you can hold her for the first time." The doctor says and Toby puts his hand on my knee. "And for the last time." I mumble and Toby kisses my head.

"It's okay, I know this hurts like hell but I'll be with you the whole time. Push, Spence." Toby says. After a long hour or so the baby was out, and I broke down in tears. "Here she is." The doctor smiles, handing me our little girl who is so tiny.

"Look how beautiful she is." I say, tears streaming down my face. I kiss her little head and so does Toby. "I'll miss you." I say stroking her little cheek and she wraps her little fingers around mine. "We need to name her." I tell him and Toby looks at me.

"Toby, I know it's hard but we need to give her a name at least." I say and he nods. "Emma." He suggests and I nod. "I love it. Emma Savannah Cavanaugh." I smile kissing her once more. "We love you." I whisper before breaking down into tears.

The doctor takes her away, because her heart had stopped. She was alive 20 minutes. No more, no less. She was in this world for only 20 minutes, and went through so much pain.

After an hour passed by the doctor discharged me and we went home. I was speechless. I didn't talk, I couldn't. This was too painful.

Toby said he'd try and pull it together and be strong, but he couldn't, and I don't blame him. We were going to be parents of this beautiful little girl we brought into this world, but we let her down.

She won't crawl for the first time, walk, say her first words or even go to school. She nearly died before being exposed to the crazy place we call home, and that's all we could do.

They said it wasn't my fault, and it happens a lot, but part of me still blames myself, I couldn't of prevented this, but it's still on me. I killed the little girl I brought here.

We arrived home and I walked into the nursery we had ready. I sat in the rocking chair, clinging onto Emma's little stuffed animal as I rocked back and forth for hours. Toby was out in the living room crying, while I sat in her room mourning her.

After another hour Toby walked in, his eyes puffy and sore. He pulls over one of the tiny chairs she would of sat on, and places it next to me. He sits down on it and lays his hand on my knee.

"I love you." He tells me and I continue to rock, avoiding eye contact with him. "You need to speak, you haven't spoke to me or to anyone for hours." He says and I continue staring off into nothing. "I'm not blaming you for not speaking, this is hard on the two of us, I understand your pain." He tells me.

"Your, uh, parents and friends called. They said they're sorry for our loss." He says and I sniffle, tears falling down my cheeks. "I guess I'll go." He sighs but I grab onto his hand.

"Please, stay." I say my voice breaking, making him cry. "Yes, yes, of course." He exclaims wiping his eyes and sitting next to me as I rock and cry.

We sit there in silence for another few hours, this has been the longest day of my life. It's now 1:30 am, and we haven't spoken a word since 8:00 pm.

"Spencer you should eat, you haven't eaten since yesterday morning." He tells me. "Hey, look at me." He whispers putting his hand on my cheek and I look him in the eyes.

"How about tomorrow we go out for a nice dinner together? Or I can order in Chinese, your favourite." He says with a small smile and I try to smile, but I genuinely can't. It feels like my life lost purpose now.

I failed as a parent already and I was one for only 20 minutes.

He sighs and holds my hands. "Spencer this is so crazy, but what if. What if we tried again?" He asks and I look at him.

"Before you start to yell, it wouldn't be yet, obviously. Maybe in a few weeks? Months? Just whenever you're comfortable, hopefully we'll be able to actually have a baby, and parent." He tells me and I sniffle.

"Yeah, I'd like that. Thanks." I smile leaning over and kissing him. "Sorry I've been so distant and not talkative." I apologize.

"No, you shouldn't have to apologize, Spence. You're going through a really hard time. I told your friends and family you'd call them when you're comfortable to talk to them again." He says stroking my cheek.

"And that doesn't have to be for days or even months, because this is hard and they should know and understand that." He says kissing me once more.

"I really don't know what I'd do without you by my side." I tell him with a small smile. "Want to go watch a movie? Even though I hate The Titanic, I'll watch it with you because it's your favourite." He grins and I do too.

"Really?" I ask excitedly. "Really." He smiles. "I'd love that." I tell him standing up and holding his hands, leading him to our bed.

"Thank you, you're so supportive and loving. I couldn't ask for a better fiancé." I smile leaning over and kissing him.

~~~~

hahaha this is a japril storyline in grey's anatomy 😭😅

This sucks !!

Comment thoughts ??!