Denial - a Breddy fanfic

155.

Eddy had promised to take care of himself. He promised, and he would. He'd get enough to eat, enough sleep and maybe even a shower. Eddy would be fine. He promised.

What if something happens to him and nobody's there to help?

Brett pressed his closed fists to the side of his head. In many ways it was nice to have the voice back, to know what he should feel again. He did not like the reminders of everything that could possibly happen to Eddy.

He had hidden the half pill at dinner. Nobody noticed, not even Eddy, and as he watched his fiancé disappear out the front door it finally returned.  If Brett just didn't tell anyone, if he kept quiet and hid the pills, it could stay. He needed it to stay. Everything felt off without it, and he didn't know how to do things without its help. If he could just keep quiet about it, not tell anyone and act fine.

As if you can act fine. Eddy will figure it out and think it's his fault.

"Shut up", he mumbled, pulling the duvet over his head.

He jumped when the phone rang, but reached out to the side table and grabbed it. It was Eddy, of course.
"Weren't you like just here?" Brett asked after answering the phone. The answer hurt, though.
"I... I'm sorry. I can call tomorrow if you want", Eddy stuttered, sniffling quietly.

Well done. You always know what to say to hurt him.

"No, no, sorry. It was a bad joke", Brett said hurriedly. "What's wrong, love?"
He heard Eddy shift.
"I don't even know. It was stupid to call, I'm sorry."
"No, Eddy, it was a bad joke. I'm sorry I said that okay?" Brett rubbed his eyes. "Did something happen?"
Eddy was quiet for some time, and Brett just waited for him.

"I don't know. I just tried to clean up the bottle and got a tiny cut and I guess it just became a bit too much. I don't know, it's stupid. I'm sorry."
"What bottle?", Brett asked, furrowing his brows. He could hear Eddy's surprise through the phone.
"Y... You don't remember? The bottle you threw on the floor when we... When we fought?"

Brett tried to think back, but most of the fight was quite blurry. He knew he'd been angry about Eddy talking to Mike and that they had fought.

And then you followed up by not even being able to drink yourself to death. Failure on all levels.

"I don't really remember. I'm sorry", Brett mumbled, followed by a sigh. "Did you get the cut sorted out?"
"Yeah, it stopped bleeding and I bandaged it just in case. Don't think I can practice until it heals though."
"I'll clean it when I get home, if it's not bothering you. Or I can ask my brother to come over and take it for you, if you want?"
"I'm not a child, Brett. I'll get it done, I'm just a bit overwhelmed already and it brought back bad memories."
"Okay, love. Let me know if you change your mind, anyway."

"You should sleep, it is getting late", Eddy said, yawning a bit himself.
"You should too. And if you need to, just call me even at night, okay? I'm always here if you need me."
"Thanks. Same for you. Anytime."
Brett laid down properly, only needing to put away his phone to be in the perfect position to fall asleep in.
"Good night then. I love you."
"Love you too."