Denial - a Breddy fanfic

68.

Monday, rehearsal day. Brett really thought he had the voice thing calmed down a bit now, but it was really having a go at him. Eddy hadn't seemed too alright this morning, and nothing Brett did seemed to make him feel any better. They were in the wardrobe unpacking their instruments when mr Gardner entered.
"Morning, boys! I hope you have slept well! I'm impressed by how well the concert went, I have to admit you had me worried for a second there, but you nailed it", he stated proudly and leaned against the door frame.
And now you're gonna ruin it, Brett.
"Thank you, sir. I'm glad you liked it", Eddy said, his tone slightly flatter than normal. Brett wanted to do some magic or something and make his boyfriend happy again.
"Yeah, thanks. I think maybe it'll sound a bit off today, though", Brett commented and held up his hurt hand. "It's uh... not broken, but sprained. I'll do my best, though, sir."

Mr. Gardner laughed. "You guys, call me Edward, yeah? I have my faith in you two. It's actually a good friend of mine who sponsored this concert, Thomas Hansen. I believe you have already met his son, Christoffer?"
Brett almost choked on air when he heard the name spoken. Eddy froze in his spot, feeling the shakes coming over him. Gardner furrowed his brows at their reaction.
"What, did you not take to him or..?" the conductor asked warily, sensing the strange atmosphere. Eddy slowly moved his hand to touch where the bruise on his arm still was vaguely visible, and Brett felt the same anger from right before he had punched Chris bubble up inside him.
"I... I guess you could say... uh... we didn't... uh... t... take to him..." Eddy stuttered, voice weak. He didn't meet Gardner's worried eyes even once, only keeping his eyes as if glued to the floor.
"He hurt Eddy, alright? You asked what was wrong with Eddy's arm the other day? Christoffer was wrong with Eddy's arm." Brett was fuming. "We went to this party with Victoria in your orchestra, right, and he was there and he was supposed to make sure Eddy got home safe, right? And he hurt him. Touched him, even, alright?" Brett's anger had reached it's boiling point and was now bubbling over. "I fucking punched his stupid little face, okay?" he fumed. "That's why my finger is messed up now, kay? Cause he got what he fucking deserve."

Mr. Gardner was a bit taken back at what he heard, but he also realized they had no reason to lie to him. He went way too silent for Eddy to be comfortable, and Eddy felt his knees shaking worse than before any concert. He was so scared mr. Gardner would be angry at them, cancel the concerts. Spread a bad reputation about them around Norway so they wouldn't be able to perform there again, or just something bad that would affect Brett. 
"Hm", the conductor said, going through what he was told in his head. His voice was calm but worried. "I need to make some phone calls. Please, let the concert master lead the rehearsal today. Let them know for me." And then he disappeared out of their wardrobe, and moments after the door shut behind him Eddy broke down in tears.

"Why did you tell him, Brett?" he asked, scared of what was going to happen now. "It's not that big of a deal, what if we can never come here again or if he cancels the concerts or...?" Brett shut him up by pulling him into a hug.
"Hey, hey, Gardner is something else, okay? I really think he is, it's gonna be alright", Brett said, even though he wasn't sure about that himself.
You sure you didn't ruin your chance now? Way to control your feelings idiot. Also - you made Eddy cry! Two birds one stone, ey?
"What if though? It was fine, Brett, I... I wouldn't want you to risk anything for me, this is your carreer..." Brett didn't want to listen to Eddy's desperate worries anymore and just kissed him, not caring about who might come in and who might see. He had never cared about that anyway.
But Eddy does. Don't you care what he thinks? Selfish.
Brett really tried to ignore his mind, but he wasn't able to. He pulled away from Eddy quickly.
"Sorry", he mumbled and tried to wipe Eddy's fast running tears with a shaky hand. "For... uh... kissing you here and for... for telling... the conductor..."

Eddy didn't understand why he was apologizing for kissing him, but the panic from having mr Gardner know what had happened hadn't let go yet.
"I... I just... what if something bad happens? It didn't have to be known, nobody should have known, I... I shouldn't even have told you..." Hearing those words  come from Eddy's mouth hurt Brett. It felt like someone was squeezing his heart as hard as they could to break it. 
"I... I'm sorry..?" Brett mumbled, not really sure what to do with himself. He took a step back from Eddy, whose panic spoke for him when he continued his stressed tirade.
"I shouldn't have said anything, nobody would have known and everything would have been fine. What if Chris hears that I've told you, Brett? What then?!" Eddy's panic was interfering with his ability to explain what he meant. He hadn't told Brett about the threat Chris had made the last time, about hurting Brett. His mind wasn't functioning clearly enough to connect the fact that Brett didn't know this to the reaction he was showing now, and his panic didn't let him interpret the reaction properly either.
"I don't know. I'm sorry", Brett almost whispered, feeling the wave of guilt hit him.
You just can't keep your big mouth shut, can you?
Brett felt tears forcing themselves out from the corners of his eyes as he tried to make himself as small as possible. He really wanted to sink into the earth for simply causing Eddy to panic like that. The fact that Eddy now seemed scared that Chris would find out made it worse.
What you really should feel bad about is letting this happen to him in the first place.
The voice's perfectly timed comment was what broke Brett. He didn't deserve Eddy, he didn't deserve to even be in the same room as him anymore. He didn't really deserve anything.
"I... I'll just... go t... to the bathroom..." he whimpered before putting down his violin quickly and running out the door, leaving Eddy alone in the wardrobe.