Denial - a Breddy fanfic

16.

Eddy had run off to a nearby park. He figured Brett might try an look for him for just disappearing like that like an idiot. The evening had gone perfect, Brett hadn't suspected a thing. What had bothered Eddy was his own reactions the evening before. In a way, he had seemed to... like it? He felt his stomach tighten from the thought. Or was it butterflies?
So naturally, when he woke and found himself tightly wrapped in Brett's arms he had paniced. He felt an intense need to get out of there, as soon as physically possible. He snuck out of the warm embrace and sat on the edge of the bed.
"Mm... babe..?" he heard from the bed behind him, and Eddy froze. Shit, had he woken up? He turned to face Brett, and was relieved to see that he had fallen back asleep. He got out of bed, realizing he was still fully clothed. He slowly opened the bedroom door, not to wake Brett, and tiptoed to the front door. He had almost gotten his shoes on when he heard Brett calling his name from the bedroom. 
"Eddy?"
He knew he only had a split second to make the descision. Should he stay? He realized how hard it would be to talk himself out of why he had left so suddenly without telling him, but he would really freak out if he stayed.
"Eddy, sweetie?"
The straw that broke the camel's back. Eddy grabbed his denim jacket and rushed out the door, slamming it behind him. 'Shit', he had thought. 'It'll seem like I'm mad or something.'

Now he was strolling for probably the millionth time around the small pond in the park. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, but he knew who it was. What would he even say? Would he lie some more to him? Eddy couldn't bear lying more to his friend, and he knew damn well that was why he had paniced this morning. He knew that when Brett woke up, he'd have to lie some more. But was it really a lie anymore, given how he had reacted the day before?
He kicked a small rock lying on the stone path going around the pond. He had tried to put his hands in the pockets of his white trousers, but they were too small. It was kind of cold outside, at least compared to how warm and comfortable it had been under the covers in Brett's arms.

After another few rounds around the small pond he decided to sit down on a white bench facing the pond. The park was quiet except a small duck family quacking away on the pond. It was funny how he even bothered to take notice of it, but the adult ducks were quacking a B flat. It felt a bit far fetched, but they reminded him of Brett. More precisely Brett playing the Sibelius B flat. He was always so prescise, the sound so clean... It was a show off part, for sure, but Brett seemed to do it with no trouble at all.
Ugh, why did some stupid ducks remind him of Brett? He picked up a pebble from the ground and threw it in the ducks' general direction. Eddy was even more frustrated when he missed them and they still fled in panic. It was just like himself fleeing that morning. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!

He took his phone out of his pocket and looked at the message from Brett. Of course he wondered where he had gone. He thought they were a thing, and now Eddy had ran away without explanation. 
As he was reading the message from Brett for the third time, he got another message.

09:01 Brett: I'm sorry if I went too far last night, please come back.

Eddy bit his lip and put one leg up on the bench, holding his arms around it and just staring at his phone. His eyes began to fill up with tears. Why had he been so stupid? Why did he lie to him in the first place? Sure, it was done out of love for the stupid boy, but it was clear it wasn't the smartest descision he had made. It had made Eddy lie to Brett, it had made him do things he wasn't comfortable with, and to top it all off it had made him doubt himself. He had recognized the butterflies in his stomach when Brett had wrapped his arms around him on the couch the night before. He knew them from the many crushes he had growing up. He had them when he had a fling with Gemma from school, he had them when he had his first kiss at prom, and now appearently he had them when lying half asleep in Brett's arms. Did he really have a crush on Brett?

The screen on his phone had gone dark while he himself was lost in his thoughts. He closed his eyes for a second and tried to imagine how it would be to actually be with Brett for real. He imagined Brett sitting next to him right there on the bench. In his mind, Brett was happy. They had been holding hands on the way there, and Brett had put his arm around him when sitting down. The thought of this scenario made Eddy happy. His phone vibrated in his hand, and he opened the message.

09:16 Brett: Please talk to me, Eddy. I'll do anything.

Anything. That was the word that had gotten them in trouble in the first place, really. Eddy knew he had used that word when he had lied to him, and the word made him feel sick. He had to talk to Brett, but he didn't know what to say. Would he admit to the lie? And possibly destroy their friendship forever? Brett deserved to know. At the same time, was it really a lie anymore? Was it lying when he slowly started to want it? Want Brett?

09:32 Brett: Please, Eddy.

Can you meet me at my house at 10? :Me 09:33

09:34 Brett: Of course. Anything for you, Eddy.