Denial - a Breddy fanfic

136.

Brett was slowly realizing how little he wanted to go to the therapist as the morning progressed, and by the time they reached the waiting room, he was centimeters from hyperventilating.
Eddy snuck his arm around his waist, trying to calm him down as they waited for Dr. Davies.
"Shhh, Bretty love... It's okay , you're okay. Breathe with me", Eddy mumbled, kissing the side of his head. "Remember how great you felt after last time we were here? It's gonna be like that. We'll get takeaway and bubble tea. Breathe with me, Bretty, come on."
Brett took a shaky breath, but when he couldn't hold it like Eddy did, he just shook his head, giving up. He felt like an idiot, and everyone was for sure staring.
"Yeah, you were doing great. Come on, one more time", Eddy encouraged as Dr. Davies entered the room. Brett was seated with his back towards the door, but Eddy had spotted her, signalling for her to wait.

Brett tried to follow Eddy's breathing pattern, and after several minutes he finally succeeded and was breathing with Eddy when Kim decided to approach.
"Well done on that breathing, Brett", she said, cheery as always. "You ready for our talk?" She gently placed a hand on Brett's shoulder, and he nodded  quietly before getting up.
"See you on the other side", Brett mumbled before going with Dr. Davies behind the door to the offices. He looked back at Eddy before the door shut, and he flashed him a smile just as the door closed. It would be fine. Eddy was out there waiting for him.

Just moments after Brett had disappeared, Mike sat down next to Eddy in the waiting room couch.
"Good morning, Eddy. How are you feeling today?" he asked, placing his hand on Eddy's shoulder. Eddy jumped a bit.
"Mike, you're here already", he answered, feeling his cheeks get a hint of pink on them from how he had reacted. Stupid, really.
"All day every day", Mike said with a laugh. "Wanna head to my office, Eddy? My couch is more comfortable than this one."
Eddy shrugged.
"I mean sure, we just have to ve back here before..."
"Before Brett's finished. Gotcha, that's no problem", Mike finished for him, flashing him one of the whitest smiles Eddy had seen. "Let's go."

Eddy followed Mike through the door Brett had gone through, always checking and making sure Brett wasn't nearby. It was silly, really. It was just a therapy session after all, right?
Mike's office was a cozy room with a large, very comfortable looking couch, a comfy chair, a desk and two loudspeakers covered in some kind of light wooden panels.
"Please, sit down. Make yourself comfortable", Mike offered, gesturing towards the large couch. Eddy sat down in one end of it, sinking into the large cushions.
"That is a comfy couch", he admitted with a smile as Mike sat down in the other end, kicking off his shoes and sat cross legged in the couch, facing Eddy.
"Please do make yourself comfortable like this too, if you want", Mike said, and Eddy did. As he crossed his legs in the couch, he couldn't help but feel like this was more like hanging out with a friend than having a therapy session. He supposed that was the point.

"So, Eddy", Mike said, smiling at him. "What's going on in your life right now?"
Eddy opened his mouth to answer, but didn't really know what to say.
"Uh, I guess... Not too much? I take Brett to therapy, we go home..." Mike laughed a bit.
"I mean, bigger. You're wearing an engagement ring?" he suggested, reaching out and touching Eddy's hand lightly, emphasizing what he meant. Eddy blushed.
"Oh uh, I'm getting married. If we sort everything out, at least", he said, still feeling the tickle of Mike's touch on his hand. "I don't know how we'll even plan a wedding with both of us being as messed up as we are, honestly."

Mike nodded, leaning his elbow on the back of the couch.
"Maybe you can explain what you mean with messed up?" Mike asked, resting his head in his hand. "Because you look quite in control of things."
Eddy couldn't help but notice how Mike had some light stubble accenting his jawbone, which looked rather good on him. He also caught himself noticing it and immediately brushed the thought aside.
"I guess we both just constantly think we don't deserve the other, and Brett thinking that is just stupid. He's on a much higher level than me when it comes to everything." He placed his head in his hands and sighed. "I don't know how I ever could believe I deserved him, honestly. Why would he settle for me, anyway?"
Mike took Eddy's hands in his and looked him in the eyes with an assuring smile.
"Hey Eddy, honestly, you're a good guy. I've seen how great you are at dealing with what Brett's going through, and in general you're a guy that's easy to like."
Eddy's cheeks lit up, not expecting Mike's slightly larger and strong hands to hold his like that. It was just so different from when Brett held his hands, more protective in a way.
"I just want Brett to be happy", Eddy admitted with a sigh. "And I feel like a faliure when he's not even vaguely fine. It feels like he would be better off without me, honestly."
Mike stroke the back of Eddy's hands with his thumbs, and Eddy felt the calming effect it had.
"Honestly, Eddy, I think you should take care of yourself better. You can't help him if you're not okay, you know."

Eddy gave what Mike had said some thought, trying to make sense of what he had said.
"I guess that makes sense", he admitted after a while. "Thanks, Mike."
Mike smiled at him and let his hands go.
"Hey, come here", he said pulling Eddy into a hug. "You did great today, okay? Make sure you take care of yourself until next time, and we'll meet again next week, yeah?"
Eddy found himself hugging the strong man back, cheeks reddening.
"Okay", he mumbled, and Mike pulled out of the hug with a blinding smile.
"Let's head out of here now before Brett's done, yeah?"