Denial - a Breddy fanfic

55.

The cuddling after was Eddy's favourite part. He loved feeling the caressing of Brett's fingertips on his back, to hear Brett's slow and calm breathing, to feel the scent of his lover all over himself and the sheets they were on. 
"Bretty?" he mumbled, head resting on his chest. It was funny how their roles reversed after they were done. "Will you tell me what you were thinking about?" The silence was deafening while Brett tried to figure out to say. He sighed before speaking.
"It's just... the park... I can't wrap my head around what happened to you..." Brett's voice trailed off, and he leaned down to kiss the top of his head. "We don't have to talk about it, I don't need to know. I just thought maybe you'd feel better if we talked about it."
Eddy bit his lip, trying to shove away the images from that night that popped into his head. He still felt guilty for not being more careful. Or maybe if he had just had some more to drink he wouldn't remember anything of it at all?
"I'm sorry I'm being difficult about it", Eddy finally said, but could feel the shift of Brett's mood.
"Why do you keep saying that? It's not like it's your fault..." Brett's voice was worried but calm still. Eddy didn't know what to say. Of course it was his fault. 
"I should have been more careful", he tried to say but was interrupted by Brett.
"I! Should have been more careful! Sending you off with a stranger just like that? I should have been there with you, and it wouldn't have happened." It was quiet for a while, neither of them knowing what to say after that. They heard the B flat from the airconditioning system in the background and a police siren outside.
"You couldn't have known, Brett." Eddy was the one to break the silence, and he realized what he said could apply to himself too. He got it confirmed too when Brett muttered "Right back at you" under his breath.

"So, what are we going to do about the... the video?" Brett eventually asked, having dreaded the question. What if they weren't what he thought they were? Did he read too much into Eddy's words and actions?
"I don't know... I suppose we have to say something about it, make a video or something..." he sighed. "What would we even tell them, anyway?"
Brett straightened his glasses and leaned his head back on the pillow. "I was hoping you had the answer to that, honestly. What is... this?" He gesticulated to themselves, but Eddy just giggled.
"Well, I know what THIS is..." he said, turning his head to kiss Brett's collarbone. "THIS is a greek god's body, no doubt." He grinned that joking grin, looking up at Brett the way he always did to confirm Brett thought it was funny too. Brett's face turned red, but he couldn't help but laugh a bit.
"You're funny, Eddy, real funny", he mumbled and kissed his forehead. "No but seriously though..." Eddy sighed, uncertain of what to say.
"I mean, I wouldn't mind being your boyfriend", Brett said, feeling his face turn redder than a stop signal. His heart rate went up to fifteen beats per second, or at least something around that.
What a stupid way to ask someone to be your boyfriend. You really expect him to say yes to that?
"Well... I mean, I wouldn't mind being your boyfriend either..." Eddy said, probably equally flustered as Brett. The looked at each other for a second before letting their lips meet in a kiss. Brett was the one to pull away with a smile.
"I guess we know what to say then?" he said, feeling a warm feeling spread in his body. Eddy was really his boyfriend, unbelievable! How long hadn't he dreamt of this? How many times hadn't this moment happened in his dreams?
"But we don't really have time now, do we? The concert's in like two days..." Eddy said, thinking practically. Brett's mind was nowhere near anything practical, he wanted to scream to the world how much he loved Eddy and to just let everyone know he was taken.
"Uh yeah, I guess..." Brett said, slightly disappointed. "So we're still a secret, then?" 
Eddy sighed slightly. "I mean, it's probably... better to wait until we have made... an announcement, right?" he half asked half stated. He didn't exactly want to keep it a secret either, but he tried to think what would be best for the channel and for their lives further ahead than what they wanted right there and then.
"You're probably right, we'll go with that, then", Brett said, not really able to hide his disappointment.
"You sure that's fine, Brett?" Eddy asked concerned and lifted his hand up to caress Brett's cheek.
You know he's just embarrased of being with you.
"Yeah yeah, sure", Brett said, but Eddy knew he was lying.