Denial - a Breddy fanfic

27.

The hotel was rather nice, and the reseptionist was very polite when she asked if they wanted two single beds or one double bed. Eddy hadn't known what to reply, but was assured when Brett had stepped up and said they wanted a double bed after a slightly too long and awkward silence. They got their keys and made their way to the elevator with their luggage.

Brett opened the door to the room, a nice and pale room with some colourful decor. Very modern, but it didn't feel very cozy. He pushed his suitcase into the large wardrobe by the entrance and made way for Eddy to come in as well. Brett's mind was completely blank, and he was for the most part ready to get some more rest even though he had been sleeping for most of the long flight. Immediately after the door was shut, Brett faceplanted onto the bed. He remained in the same position for a few seconds before kicking off his shoes and crawling properly into the bed. He noticed Eddy sitting down on the edge of the bed, but he didn't turn to look at him. He did feel awful for not engaging contact with Eddy, but his entire body felt heavy and tired ll the time no matter how much he slept.

Eddy kicked off his own shoes and took off his denim jacket before crawling into bed with Brett. It wasn't really that late, local time, but they had been awake for quite some time. He ended up just lying om his back and staring up at the ceiling. All he wanted in the world right then was for Brett to wrap his arms around him.

Brett turned to look at Eddy lying in bed. He felt awful, knowing Eddy missed him, but he couldn't make himself to fake feeling things. It was frustrating to feel so empty all the time, to know you were hurting people you cared about.
"You wanted to know... something?" He chickened out halfway through the question he had intended to ask. His voice was weak ans full of guilt for his partner.
"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, Brett. I'm sorry for pressuring you into doing stuff you obviously did not want to do." The apology sounded sad, resignated. He apologized for more than just making him talk about stuff.
"It's not that I don't want to, Eddy" Brett sighed and sat up in the bed with his legs crossed.
"I just... everything feels so... well, it doesn't feel much?" He relized the sentence didn't make sense, but Eddy's lack of reaction made him continue.
"I love you, Eddy, I know that, but I don't... I don't feel it the same way I did, and I keep getting disppointed when I hope for it." Eddy didn't reply, only sniffed quietly to himself and turned his back against Brett. Shit, he had made him cry.
"Eddy... please, I'm sorry, I..." The apology was real, but he couldn't promise to be better. Maybe Eddy simply would be better off without him as things were now?
"Don't apologize, Brett", Eddy ordered him quietly, wiping a tear. "It's problably my fault anyway. It's because I lied at first, right? You don't trust me?" Eddy had been worrying about this for quite some time, that he had caused Brett's strange behaviour. "It's my fault, I'm sorry."
Brett shook his head and madean efford to crawl over to Eddy's side of the bed. He sat behind Eddy, one arm holding himself up and the other hand was placed on Eddy's arm.
"It's not your fault, Eddy", he said softly to the boy lying down with his back to him. "I just... I'm probably just stressed about this concert or something." He knew that wasn't it, but a small lie wouldn't hurt. Except Eddy knew he was lying.
"I'm sorry for this", Eddy apologized again, but this time Brett felt a new feeling. Annoyance. He poked Eddy in the side, knowing how ticklish he was. Eddy shrieked and bounced up.
"Oh stop it you", Brett said sternly and poked him again, making a similar reaction.
"It's not your fault, really", he said with a small smile, the happiest he had both looked and felt in a while, and leaning over to poke him again, but this time Eddy caught his hand first.
"You stop that", he giggled, loving this half playful Brett, even though it wasn't properly. "I'll get you back, I swear."
Brett shook his head, and got that playful smile on his face that Eddy remembered from the playfights from when they were younger.
"Don't you dare!" he said loudly, holding his arms out in front of him to protect him from the incoming tickle attack.
"Watch me!" the younger simply replied as he launched the tickle attack on the smaller man, making him laugh and twist under him.
"P...pleeeaaase!" he shrieked, all laughing and trying to stop Eddy from tickling him, and when Eddy finally stopped the tables turned quickly. Suddenly, Brett was on top of Eddy, holding his arms down on the bed by the wrists. Then he leaned down to him, their lips nearly touching.
"You're so mean", he whispered playfully while he locked his eyes onto Eddy's. The sparkle in them danced over the warm brown. He felt Eddy tremble slightly under him, and that made Brett's stomach do a flip. A good flip. The kind he had hoped for would come to him when he was with Eddy.